


Away

by God_of_Insanity, obsidians



Series: Dreams of Beyond [1]
Category: Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angst, Blow Jobs, Bottom Sephiroth, Genesis is sort of likable in this haha, M/M, Major Character Death(s), Mentions of First Time, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sad Ending, Sephiroth has issues but we all already knew that, Socially awkward/vulnerable Sephiroth, Supportive/Domestic Angeal, Tags May Change, Three part story, Top Angeal, You might cry at some point IF you have a heart, beware the feels, m/m - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-23
Updated: 2017-01-25
Packaged: 2018-09-19 13:37:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9443201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/God_of_Insanity/pseuds/God_of_Insanity, https://archiveofourown.org/users/obsidians/pseuds/obsidians
Summary: Angeal and Sephiroth, in a domestic partnership, live together in a house just in reach of Shinra Headquarters and its ever watchful eye. Even though their relationship is complicated and requires great care and patience, Angeal still bears hopes and dreams for the future, their future together, away from Shinra. Despite this, a dark, looming nightmare draws closer to them both as it becomes startling reality.





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> A fellow friend and writer suggested that obsidians and I co-write something together, so upon serious contemplation...we tried it and ended up enjoying it. I've never successfully cowritten a story before with someone, so I consider this a big accomplishment, and it was very easy and fun to write with obsidians. We enjoyed it so much so that there's actually a sequel to Away, called Home. Away is a three part story and the other two chapters will be released after some serious editing. Though Vin/Seph is my Forever OTP, I have a deep love and appreciation for Angeal/Seph, too. And as always, I hope you all enjoy.

For the umpteenth time that day, Angeal compulsively checked his PHS to see if he’d received any new messages. Once again, there were no new texts, e-mails, missed calls, or voicemails. This wasn’t due out of some selfish desire to be important or acknowledged by anyone in particular; it was his need to know that those he cared about were safe and sound. His childhood friend, Genesis, he wasn’t too concerned about since the redhead checked in with him often enough.

It was Sephiroth. The man spent inordinate amounts of time out in the field with Angeal and Genesis, and sometimes with other Soldiers or cadets. When he wasn’t out in the field, he was busy training past his limits or holed up in his office trapped by heaps of paperwork. And sometimes, sometimes he was stuck in Hojo’s labs undergoing countless tests, receiving some type of mandatory “physical”, or worse yet, time submerged in the Mako tanks. Every time Sephiroth returned home to him after his… _sessions_ , he appeared dazed and not at all himself. The aftermath of his tank sessions were the worst, in Angeal’s honest opinion. Sometimes it took Sephiroth several days, even a week to fully recover both mind and body from the prolonged exposure to Mako. Though it was diluted Mako, it was still Mako and it still poisoned the enhanced Soldiers, even ones with J cells, just like it would any other. Every time Sephiroth was subjected to tests or tank time, sometimes _both_ , Angeal took as much time off needed to care for the disorientated, sometimes comatose man. Normally, such a thing at Shinra would be frowned upon and not allowed, but even Shinra, even _Hojo_ , saw the benefits of Angeal providing aftercare for their prized General and specimen.

The large, worried Soldier peeled off his soil stained gardening gloves before he dropped them in the usual empty flower pot by the backdoor. He used the back of his hand to wipe away the beads of sweat as he stared at the familiar sight of Shinra headquarters. It was truly an eyesore. Not because it was where he worked, where _they_ both worked, but more so because it was so close to _home_. It was the place that ate up so much of his lover’s time; it was the place that subjected the one he loved to unimaginable torture. Sephiroth never spoke about it to Angeal, or anyone else really, it seemed, yet Angeal knew better. After years of knowing the silver-haired Soldier, the larger Soldier had picked up on many of the man’s quirks and mannerisms. Like the way the man stared blankly at nothing when he was trying to shut down his troubled thoughts and feelings. Or the way Sephiroth bit his bottom lip while he played with the hem of his leather coat whenever he was in the _mood_. The green-eyed male was incredibly, yet endearingly awkward when it came to socializing with people, even with his close friends. He didn’t know how to flirt, really, or form meaningful conversations with people. Even small talk was something difficult for the man to accomplish, so naturally, he avoided it whenever possible. Still, what he lacked in the socializing department, he more than made up for in the bedroom. There was more than sex between Angeal and Sephiroth, that much he was certain of; however, Angeal knew the words Sephiroth had trouble saying, _couldn’t_ say, he said with his body. And for Angeal, that was enough.

Reading Sephiroth wasn’t an easy task and sometimes even Angeal had trouble deciphering the stoic man’s moods and actions. But still, he stuck around out of sheer love and his undying sense of loyalty, of honor. Angeal’s parents had loved each other in such a way that had him dreaming of such a relationship for many years. Perhaps not their exact relationship per se, but one close to it. One filled with love, understanding, communication, and loyalty. Growing up, that’s all he had ever wanted for himself. Like his father before him, he had had love, family, friends, and honor. Those were all things Angeal had now and Gaia, did he cherish them more than anyone would ever know.

The dark-haired soldier tilted his head back as he leaned against the wall, his skin basked in the contrasting feeling of both shade and sun. Even now, he was still mystified that the one that had captured his heart, that warmed his bed each night, was _Sephiroth,_ a man. Out of all the people in the world, he was not the person he had imagined ever feeling such uninhibited, soul-searing feelings for. Not that Sephiroth was a bad catch, or someone he regretted loving. In truth, the First had always imagined he’d marry a nice, homely girl and raise children with her in a house by the sea. His own mother had been ordinary and plain to the eye, yet somehow, she had been such a beautiful person to her friends, family, and neighbors. In his head, he’d fantasized about loving a kind girl with a lovely soul, much like his mother’s. A fantasy that had been shattered the moment he realized that one of his best friends had taken the place of his dream girl.

It was a fact that Angeal was primarily attracted to women, though he’d be lying if he claimed that a pretty man had never turned his head now and then. Although he had always enjoyed the soft, supple flesh of a woman, something about the hard, powerful flesh of Sephiroth’s limber body fueled him more. With women, he had always had to hold back, to be frustratingly gentle lest he accidentally injure or kill them due to his enhanced Soldier strength. With Sephiroth, he never had to hold back, he never feared hurting his lover. Even though Sephiroth allowed Angeal to top him, he was still a man through and through and was far from being a submissive partner. He suspected that Sephiroth, since he had been saddled with the burden of leadership for years now, needed someone to take some control from him, to pamper and love him away from the countless prying eyes and ears of Midgar, and of the world. Of course, the silver General would never, ever dare admit to such a weakness, not even to Angeal.

Like a hound spotting his master, Angeal jerked away from the wall when he had noticed the tall, dark form and gleaming metal hair of his lover far off in the distance, exiting Shinra headquarters. He had to force himself to remain outside their home, impatiently waiting for Sephiroth to arrive. Angeal’s urge to fret over the man and to properly access his overall wellbeing rose with every step the General’s booted feet took. As much as he wanted to meet Sephiroth, he knew the slighter male needed this walk alone to analyze his thoughts before he came home each night, if he did come home, that is. Sometimes the General was stuck in the labs, or in the field, for weeks at a time while Angeal agonized over his absence whenever they were parted. It was pure agony for him, for them both, he was sure, yet…Sephiroth returning intact, or close enough to intact, each time was enough payoff for Angeal to forgive. Not that Sephiroth needed his forgiveness. No, it wasn’t his lover’s fault that he had such a demanding, stressful job that took him away from home far too often.

“ _Sephiroth_ ,” breathed out Angeal though he knew the man was still too far away to hear him, even with his enhanced senses. The blue-eyed man blinked away the hot prick of tears as he watched the familiar, approaching form of his friend and lover.

It hurt so much just to do this simple walk, his body was a mass of pain but he refused to show it as he did not show weakness, could not afford to. His final act once the Mako tank had been drained and himself allowed to shower and dress was to shoot the smirking Hojo a cool glare as if to say, "Do your worse, I can take anything you can do to me."

He could see his lover waiting for him at the door to their house, his only source of love, of comfort and support, the gentle giant of a caring man who would see him through this pain. How he longed to rush to him and cling to him like a child and allow his larger body to shelter him, but instead walked each slow, agonized step towards him, not that anyone else would have guessed this upon observing him. To the casual observer, it looked as if the Silver General was sedately walking in an unhurried fashioned as ever with an aloof expression on his face.

Angeal could tell how the proud man held himself so stiffly that he was in pain. He longed to rush to him again, to get him away from prying eyes, to remove his uncomfortably hot leather uniform and nurse him back to health.  Instead, he schooled his own face into a neutral expression and held open the door to their shelter from the world to him. Finally, Sephiroth arrived at the door and with hardly a glance at Angeal, stepped past him.

He had hardly lowered himself into a chair at their kitchen table when Angeal was on his knees before him removing his boots, he almost groaned aloud as they came off. A large hand swept back his bangs and was applied to his forehead.

"You're burning up." Angeal said with a flash of anger in his eyes as if wanting to have a talk with Hojo involving his buster sword.

"Please don't fuss so, Angeal." Sephiroth said dismissively, yet wanted to drown in that single touch.

"Like hell, come we are getting you out of your uniform." Angeal insisted. "Why do you always have to wear that thing right after your treatments?" He demanded and then felt bad, knowing Sephiroth could never wear the cool scrubs most SOLDIER'S wore after their treatments, the bleach scent of them was enough to induce cold sweats in him. His uniform allowed him at least the illusion what he underwent was voluntary and he had some control where he actually had none. He didn't say a thing as he helped him to stand and helped his aching body to the bedroom.

With knowing, gentle hands, he quickly stripped Sephiroth to his preternatural pale flesh and although he had already showered, Angeal took a bath with him and kneaded his sore muscles until Sephiroth's head leaned limply back on his breast, barely awake his smooth muscular back flush with Angeal's chest. Angeal kissed the top of his almost comatose head and gently lifted him from the bath and held him up while drying him and then tucked him into their bed. He tenderly brushed back his sweet smelling hair. Their shampoo smelled like apricots and the one they provided Sephiroth with for his shower smelled almost medicinal in nature and he knew how Sephiroth loathed that. Hence the reason for the bath besides to provide Sephiroth with the intimacy he could never ask for, of loving and supportive arms around him when he was in so vulnerable a state.

Angeal could watch the stoic man sleep for hours, he looked so young when his normally stern features were lax in his slumber. He marveled that Sephiroth trusted him enough to allow him to see this side of him. Settling the blankets higher on his exposed shoulders, he gave him a small kiss on the cheek that made Sephiroth groan out Angeal's name in his sleep in a voice that was tinged with impatience when Angeal fussed too much. Angeal shut off the lights and went to the kitchen to prepare food for his hurting spouse for when he awoke. He was just happy he was home as Angeal hummed as he chopped, sliced and diced in their kitchen and out of Shinra's and Hojo's abusive hands. He would have killed anyone who would dare harm a hair on Sephiroth's head but knew he could do nothing to prevent his treatments, but he could give him this. At least Sephiroth was home safe and sound with him and that had to be enough for Angeal. 

Even in his sleep, as deep as it was, Sephiroth could still hear the faint sounds of Angeal working in the kitchen. The smells of food cooking entered his nostrils, causing him to unconsciously wrinkle his nose at the strong scent before turning his head away. The sounds entered his already bizarre, nonsensical dreams.

_Sephiroth dreamt he was at Shinra Headquarters, or at least, what he thought was Shinra Headquarters until he noticed most of the people inside the building lacked faces and were laughing non-stop. He walked through the hallways, lights flickering and the rooms blurry as he glanced around, searching for something. What, he didn’t know, but he felt the undeniable compulsion to find it. He momentarily stopped walking when he heard the sounds of a knife chopping and water boiling. Following the noise, he was led to a partially opened door that he managed to peer into without fully poking his head inside._

_Inside the room, there were many faceless people sitting at tables and laughing, laughter shrill and haunting. Among them there were some people he recognized, like Hojo sitting on a table by himself gazing into a mirror as he stroked his own hair like someone might to a pet. Whatever he mumbled to himself wasn’t coherent to Sephiroth, who quickly dismissed him to scan the rest of the room. Oddly enough, he spotted Scarlet and Heidegger sitting in the same chair together, giggling like school girls while Lazard, in a waiter’s uniform, stood at their table with a menu and a stupid, fake smile on his face. Everyone else around them had blank, smooth faces covered in shadow. He felt it was eerie to see mouthless people talking and looking at one another without eyes, without expressions. Out of the corner of his eye, he would see some type of facial feature that vanished like darkness being consumed by light as soon as he redirected his gaze back to them._

_Last but not least, at the far end of the strangely big, yet small room, stood Angeal in a kitchen chopping and measuring food ingredients as he cooked. Everything looked fine enough until he noticed Angeal was naked save for an apron folded over and tied around his waist. It took him a moment to notice the pale arms wrapped around the big Soldier’s waist. Stepping around for a better view, Sephiroth’s face blanched when he noticed that it was Genesis latched onto the larger soldier’s body, embracing him from behind like a lover would. When he opened his mouth to demand the redhead to get off his man, no words could leave his mouth. He couldn’t even take a single step forward to wrench Genesis off. All he could do was watch the scene while his chest constricted in pain and blood boiled from rage as Genesis kissed the dark-haired Soldier on the naked skin between his shoulder blades. The red-haired man eventually turned his head and stared at Sephiroth, staring straight past him as he smiled. Genesis opened his mouth to speak, yet no real words came out. His voice was distorted and barely audible as a jumble of pure gibberish spilled out._

_The hands around Angeal’s waist started to lower, slipping down over a strong, muscled thigh before disappearing underneath the apron. Angeal, with a big smile, continued deboning a fish with precision as if nothing odd was occurring at all. Sephiroth wanted to lash out and hit him, hit them both, but he was glued to the spot. All he could do was stand there in rage and agony with his voice entombed in his throat and his body a useless chunk of rotting meat. From behind him, he heard Hojo’s cold, abrasive remark, “Don’t worry, my boy…you’re too good for them. You are perfect, you don’t need those weak imperfections. You are a God among foolish mortals, utter perfection in itself…”_

Groaning, Sephiroth slowly sat up, eyes bleary as he blinked, his Mako green eyes quickly adjusting to the darkness of the room. His body was embraced by a cold sweat, which caused many strands of his long, gunmetal hair to stick unpleasantly to his face, neck, back, and chest. If he had been sleeping with some type of bed clothes on, they would have undoubtedly been drenched by his sweat. He silently felt grateful that he usually slept in the nude until he realized the place he had been sleeping on was _soaked_. Grimacing in disgust, he slid his sore, heavy feeling body over to Angeal’s side. Collapsing onto his stomach, he buried his face in his lover’s pillow, inhaling his strong, masculine scent while his hands clenched at the sheets. Vague snippets of his dream flitted through his brain and try as he might, he could not grasp onto his dream, or remember anything much except that Angeal had been there, and Genesis, too… _together_. It took him a few moments to realize that what he was seeing in his mind, wasn’t real though it felt much too real to some degree. Like most of his dreams, they were nothing but a mess of absurd words and events occasionally reflecting his fears, desires, and pains.

Choosing to discard as much of the dream as possible, he rolled onto his side and clutched Angeal’s pillow to his body with his face still buried in it. This…was something he had been doing for awhile now whenever he felt the need to seek out comfort from another source when Angeal wasn’t readily available. Sometimes it was a pillow, sometimes a shirt, and even a brush. If it had even a trace of the bigger man’s scent, Sephiroth would find himself breathing it in until he had sufficiently calmed down. Of course, he would never dare admit that he needed such comfort, that he even did such a thing in the first place, to anyone, especially Angeal. It wasn’t something he was proud of and felt it was shameful and embarrassing even, since it was something a lonely wife or child might do. Growling to himself, he clutched the pillow harder as he shoved aside the ill feelings in favor of soaking in the comfort he so desperately longed for.

When all the prep work was done, Angeal stood in the kitchen, lost in his own thoughts as the food cooked. A few sounds emerging from their bedroom knocked him out of his daydream quickly enough. Quickly wiping his hands on a dish towel, the blue-eyed man left the kitchen without sparing another thought to the food. Nothing was more important than Sephiroth, and besides, he could always whip something else up, if need be.

Quietly cracking the door open a few inches, Angeal peeked into the mostly dark bedroom to find the source of the suspicious noises. He spotted Sephiroth lying on _his_ side of the bed, clinging to Angeal’s pillow like it was a life saver. The dark-haired Soldier couldn’t help but envy that damned pillow cradled against his lover’s body. The sheet had been mostly knocked off, which only served to expose a great deal of smooth, fair skin and ripped, corded muscle proving his own undeniable masculinity.  If Sephiroth weren’t in the weakened condition that he was currently in, Angeal might have been sorely tempted to replace that pillow with his own body. It made him smile watching him because he knew why the smaller man clung to his pillow and he also knew that Sephiroth believed this to be his own secret. He knew this stubborn man liked to hide things that he believed were shameful or silly. Angeal himself could care less if people knew about his hobbies, of which some others might not deem as ‘manly’. He didn’t care, though, since their opinions meant nothing to him and didn’t affect his life or his unwavering beliefs. If he liked to garden, cook, clean, and take care of his man, then so what? It didn’t even put a dent in his masculinity, didn’t make him any less of a man. In the end, he believed a man isn’t defined by his sexual partner(s), his tastes, or his hobbies. To Angeal, a true man is a man that stands up for himself, for others, and holds true to his own honor.

So yes, Angeal knew Sephiroth sought comfort in his scent through his personal belongings. After all, one doesn’t simply fail to notice various items going missing, mostly several pairs of shirts, jackets, and sometimes even his brush. He had put the pieces together when he had come home one night to find the other man fast asleep clutching Angeal’s shirt. It was such an endearing sight and was just one of many ways Sephiroth silently showed that he cared about his significant other. Verbally expressing his own feelings was just not something the Silver General excelled at, but that didn’t mean he didn’t try. Oh, he did try hard, but it always came out sounding awkward or wrong to the ear, so he turned to other means, like little gestures and touches, to show Angeal that he cared.

Angeal waited respectfully until Sephiroth returned to his own side of the bed and pushed open the door and was careful not to touch the awakening Sephiroth lest the irate man accuse him of molly coddling him like a baby. He would say this in a voice tinged with anger with no real heat behind it that always caused Sephiroth to frown in an adorable way that made Angeal muffle a laugh. "If you are hungry, I have food prepared if you are able to come to the table, if not I can fix you a tray," he said, leaning a hip against the entranceway to their bedroom and crossing his arms before his broad chest.

As if on cue, Sephiroth's stomach growled and he could have sworn Sephiroth blushed at this. "I'm not infirmed, please do not presume to treat me as such," he coldly said and pushed back the sheets and firmly stood up, yet Angeal caught his slight wince. Even in his current state, Angeal could not prevent himself from shooting glance of appreciation at the glory that was Sephiroth's nude form. His body that of a marble statue of a young god come to life, so stark in its perfection.

However, he also knew that Sephiroth was hurting and felt hot and cold more acutely when unwell. Without a thought, Angeal reached into his drawer and pulled out a pair of sleep pants and a t-shirt that were both soft from Angeal himself washing them in his lover's favorite laundry detergent and fabric softener. Sephiroth gave him a nod of appreciation before donning them and pushing his damp hair from his body. His large pale feet slid into the soft slippers that Angeal kept there for him.

Angeal make a move to straighten the bed and noticed with shock how the sheets were drenched with sweat. "You had a bad dream, do you wish to tell me what it was about?" He asked him, knowing it was pointless to ask but wanting to help him in any way he could. Sephiroth was intensely private about things bothering him.

"It was a pointless dream and not worth discussing. I'm sorry about the sheets," he said.

"Don't be silly, I'll change the sheets after we eat and wash these," Angeal said smoothly stripping the bed. The sheets he bought for them were white cotton sheets with a high thread count and the softest comforters he could find. He liked to wash these unbleached, knowing about Sephiroth aversion to antiseptic smells and hang them to dry in the sun on a warm day. They also had a set of black satin sheets for special occasions, Sephiroth looked particularly alluring draped over them, Angeal found himself blushing a bit at this. My, but his mind was in the gutter today!

He put the sheets into the washing machine and went to serve food to Sephiroth, there was enough to serve a small banquet as ever, they were both enhanced in a way that they needed three times the caloric intake of a normal man. They ate in silence, Sephiroth eating in his usual slow and methodical way as he had been taught to, not to draw attention to how much he normally ate.

Angeal’s mind went back into the gutter as he watched Sephiroth's mouth as he fed himself, knowing how hot it was, how much it could take into the dark depths of his oral cavity.

Angeal remembered then how they had first gotten together.

It had been one of the first times he had gone on a mission alone with Sephiroth and he had heard him crying out in the grips of a bad dream and had done something no one else would have dared, he entered his tent without permission. He responded to the pain in his voice, as he would have anyone else's and had murmured soothing niceties while trying to pin his thrashing pale limbs until Sephiroth woke up and shocked Angeal by throwing his arms around him and their lips accidently met. Angeal had been startled and starving for physical affection and found him extremely attractive. He kissed him while his hand stroked along the length of his back. Then he realized who he was attempting to seduce and went to pull back.

"Please show me how. I have never…" Sephiroth said in a desperate voice and Angeal realized with just how inexperienced his kisses were, that Sephiroth was a virgin. His mind raced, how was the possible? He knew of Sephiroth's supposed trips to town, everyone did, where he would disappear to each weekend and it was rumored that that he maintained a lover there. But if that wasn't that case.... "I need to see, I need to experience this," he all but pleaded and Angeal was a man lost.

With the help of a liniment from their medical kit and a half remembered encounter with a male Angeal had had years before mainly out of curiosity, Angeal gently and carefully took Sephiroth's virginity, making his first time as pleasurable as possible for him. Angeal had regretted his large member for the first time in his life as he lined himself up with Sephiroth's entrance; he had had some women who couldn't take him. He had prepared him as much as possible with his fingers and hoped for the best as he eased himself into the slighter body beneath him until Sephiroth had mewed with distress. However, with some gentle nudging, he was soon fully seated in him and kissed away a tear Sephiroth hadn’t been aware had gathered into a corner of his eye. Soon the tight elastic ring that guarded the entrance into Sephiroth's body had proven to be just a flexible as the rest of him while Angeal showed him the ways of love and he proved to be an enthusiastic student.

The next day Sephiroth had been coolly distant and Angeal had allowed him his space to process what had occurred between them. Sephiroth had kept that distance upon their return until a simple text that Angeal sent to him: "I won't tell anyone; you have my word on this."

The text he received back gave him the address and directions to get to a place in town and suggested meeting him there. Then Angeal found out about where Sephiroth went, there was no lover, he simply had rented an apartment in town that allowed him privacy from the hidden cameras of his own quarters and allowed him to be himself. He would go there and pretty much remain hidden in the spartanly decorated place while reading or while wheedling the time away in whatever way he saw fit.

Angeal felt it an honor for himself to be invited there by the private man.  However, the place was a veritable mess, Sephiroth knew nothing about housekeeping, having never had one to keep and relied on the cleaning staff provided for his own lodgings. Clothes remained where he discarded them, his bed permanently unmade and sheets removed only when he couldn't stand their scent anymore and dirt covered the floor and dust everything else. Every dish, glass and cutlery in the place were stacked in or next to the sink in precariously leaning piles.

Angeal took him in hand and first located the laundry room in his building and fed quarters greedily into the machines until each dank and mildew smelling towel spun in them, along with foul smelling bedding, right down to the pair of dusty socks that had taken up residence in the corner of his closet from being tossed in the direction of his laundry hamper. It missed the overflowing horror by a mile.

Once the new clean clothes were folded and put away and the bed neatly made, Sephiroth was dragged to the grocery store for much needed cleaning supplies and ingredients to make food when he discovered Sephiroth ate only TV dinners during this time. Then the cleaning began and Sephiroth looked questioningly at Angeal when he put a toilet scrub brush into his hand and pointed at the toilet by way of directions. He helped and taught the slighter man how to properly clean his place from top to bottom and keep it that way.

Soon they were there almost every weekend and made love endlessly, the virginal General no longer a virgin and an eager bed partner as Angeal slowly fell for him. He thought they were covering their tracks, until he noticed Genesis's gloating smile one time after they returned and were ignoring each other. He didn't like it, what he had with Sephiroth was far removed from the simple friendship he shared with Genesis and didn't like how Genesis desired Sephiroth as only a conquest.

One day, Angeal was called into a meeting with Shinra and Hojo and an ill at ease looking Sephiroth. It was explained to him that they were going to be living together in a house once used to house the family of the head of security. "No cameras," Sephiroth spat at Hojo.

"Only if you keep your word and never try to defy me, boy." Hojo said, his beady black eyes glancing from one to the other as if they were exotic bugs to be studied. Sephiroth just looked away at this. Angeal felt that he had fought hard to allow them a home where they could be together in their privacy, but that it had cost Sephiroth his already damaged soul and he had indebted himself to the mad professor.

Angeal waited until Sephiroth was done eating to spring the surprise on him. "Sephiroth, read this," he said.

Sephiroth took it and read the advertisement for the farm for sale. "So, what about it?" He asked him.

"I've saved almost every penny I have made since grunt days. I have enough to buy this farm. It is isolated enough that no one shall stare at you, we can live anonymously. The soil is rich and fertile; we can start an organic vegetable farm as we talked about. We can get out of here, be our own bosses with no one to tell us what to do. We can live how we please, we can even hire a surrogate to carry our baby and start a family." Angeal said.

"It's a nice dream but we can never leave. Hojo owns our souls." Sephiroth said. "Besides, what do I know about farming? I'm a soldier."

"As am I, it isn't difficult, I can teach you. Sephiroth, we have to get out of here, something bad is coming, I can feel it. You, me and Genesis have to get away from these people, away from this place." Angeal all but pleaded.

Sephiroth looked sharply at him at the mention of Genesis's name at how vivid his dream had been and felt the same jealousy he had experienced in his dream. It was enough to make him bend his fork in half without him even realizing it as he remembered the way Genesis had touched what was _his_. He had never seen their mutual friend consorting with Angeal like his lover did with him, but that didn’t stop him from imagining it. For all he knew, Angeal might have had something going on with Genesis at some point, might _still_ have something going on. Even if there was nothing, he still felt irrationally jealous over his lover and friend’s long running friendship. Angeal and Genesis had been friends since childhood and were still good friends. He had no right to infringe on their relationship, brotherly or not, but something still made him want to bash Genesis’ skull in whenever the redhead was too close to Angeal. He didn’t hate Genesis, liked him to some extent, but something about the man made his teeth grind whenever he was too close to either of them. Something about him was wrong…or maybe it was all just in Sephiroth’s head. Gaia knew that after his tank time, or even any time spent with Hojo in the labs, Sephiroth’s head was always a tangled, incomprehensible mess. In the past, it had taken weeks, sometimes a month or more to get his head on straight; however, thanks to Angeal, the longest it took him to get back in shape mentally was usually less than a week, sometimes only a day or two. Besides his sick fixation on watching specimens interact, maybe that’s why Hojo allowed…them to live together like this. In a sense, Angeal was what some might refer to as his _handler_. He could calm and restore him fully unlike any other, and make him feel things he never thought possible. 

Like nearly all things that made little sense to Sephiroth, he filed them away into the back of his mind. Or at least, he attempted to. Every time he tried to forget his dream, and the fact that Angeal wanted to include Genesis in their dream to get away, ( _although admittedly it was originally Angeal’s dream, Sephiroth just went along with it although he did honestly think it was a nice dream_ ) he felt that irrational, repulsive feeling sear him up inside. He didn’t even notice what he had done to his fork until he felt a large hand gently pry it from his clenched hand. At first, he didn’t release it until he felt the larger man’s hand stroking his hand soothingly, the pad of his thumb rubbing lazy, soothing circles into the top of Sephiroth’s cramped hand. The jealousy, for the time being, was gone because of a simple, gentle touch. A touch that he always greedily soaked in, though he did try his best not to…seem too eager for it. Before this relationship started, Sephiroth had been touch starved and had not known it until that fateful night Angeal had dared enter his tent and… suddenly, he hated himself for thinking such negative, distrustful thoughts about the larger man. He was always doing _everything_ for him, always trying to help no matter how hard-headed and cold Sephiroth tended to be. Sometimes he didn’t understand what Angeal saw in him, why he put up with Sephiroth when he could have any loving woman he wanted. Angeal deserved better, deserved someone who could open up and give him back all that he gave. Despite believing this, Sephiroth was too selfish to let him go and even if he had to, didn’t know if he could. 

“You’re probably not going to tell me, but is something wrong? You don’t normally destroy our silverware,” finished Angeal with a joke, though the mirth didn’t quite reach his concerned, somber blue eyes. He knew that many times after lengthened exposure to Mako or to Hojo’s whims, Sephiroth was usually moody and not all there in the head.

The silver-haired male stared at the bent fork on the table for a moment since he didn’t recall bending it at all. The longer he stared at it, the louder his dream got until he couldn’t stand it anymore. Even if it was true, he _had_ to know, couldn’t take not knowing. If it was true, he’d accept it in time…possibly, but for now, he needed to know. The last thing he wanted to do was lash out at Angeal after having paranoia gnaw at him for weeks or even months. Inhaling deeply, he crossed his arms and sat stiffly in the chair much in the way he usually did during mandatory meetings. It was his body’s way of expressing that he was prepping himself for something unpleasant, or at the very least, uncomfortable. He usually sat like this whenever he tried to express what he was feeling or thinking that was beyond logic. It was easy to memorize facts, to strategize, but to talk about how he _felt_? That was something beyond him, something he struggled with daily. He often felt like a dumb, uneducated child whenever he tried to voice whatever he was feeling, though Angeal never treated him as such. He was always patient and understanding, and because of this, Sephiroth would keep trying no matter how many times he tripped over his own mouth.

“Are you…and Genesis…?” Was all that Sephiroth managed to get out before he felt himself clamping up again. It sounded stupid to his own ears and he instantly regretted opening his mouth. He knew he should have kept it shut, should have ignored the issue. Was it really an issue though? Logically, one could conclude that it was a problem because it was manifesting itself so clearly in Sephiroth’s dreams and knotting itself up in his conscious mind. His Mako green eyes burned holes through the table since he couldn’t bring himself to look at the other man. He didn’t bother trying to dismiss his question as a joke since Angeal was a very perceptive and intelligent person. He knew Sephiroth’s version of humor was often dry and verging on dark. It wasn’t silly or crude like Genesis’ own humor and it was obvious Sephiroth wouldn’t joke about something like that. Which meant that his fragmented question was a serious one at that and the fact that he actually bothered to ask proved he wanted to know. But now as he sat there tensely, he wasn’t so certain he did want to know. If it was indeed true, he half hoped Angeal would lie to him.

Angeal studied Sephiroth, his face neutrally blank as ever when something was bothering him, it wasn't often he talked of their relationship and he felt somewhat flattered that Sephiroth was concerned about his relationship with Genesis. He reached over and caught his chin in one of his large hands and forced him to look at him and those hypnotic green eyes stared wearily back at him, as if he were a misbehaving child about to be reprimanded. "No, we never have been intimate and never will. Genesis is just a friend; we are close but are completely opposite when it comes to relationships. Genesis is all about pretty people and loves the thrill of the chase and the conquest and once he gets what he wants, he gets rid of that person. He has the morals of an alley cat. I have told him I would break every bone in his body if he went near you, that you are mine. He was slutting around Banora by the time he was fourteen. There has been more than one child born with his red hair and I'm sure the mother was paid for her silence as to her child's paternity by the Rhapsodos' family fortune." Angeal explained to him, without rancor or judgment in his voice.

"You mean to tell me that Genesis might have procreated?" Sephiroth said in surprise.

"And left them unclaimed, yes, that is part of the reason why I never was interested in him as anything more as a friend, the other being he's all about pretty, like you are. I'm more like ruggedly handsome. He hit on me once because he was intrigued and I said no. I could never get serious with someone like him. When I am with someone, when I love someone, of which there hasn't been that many, they become my world and I would do anything for them. I would die for them. As I would you for you because I love you," he promised him.

"I know you say the words, but I really don't know what they mean," Sephiroth admitted.

"They mean that you are in my heart, no matter where you go and what you do, you are always with me. That my life belongs to you and you are my future and your home is my own," Angeal said in a voice so sincere that even Sephiroth could feel his eyes prick with tears and looked away.

"How could you feel so much about me?" He asked him.

"Because of who you are." Angeal said.

"Pretty and socially inept?" He asked him sarcastically.

"I don't mean how you look or how you seem to other people. I mean how you are with me, I mean how you care for me, how you allow me to experience a softer side of you, how you allowed me into your life. When we first had sex, you could have left it at that but now we share a home and life together now and that makes me happy," he explained and Sephiroth shot him a glance, was that hope in his eyes? "Come, if you're done eating, let's go sit in the living room," he suggested.

"I sometimes wonder why you chose me to be your first. I didn't want to pry," he explained but pressed a bit because for some reason Sephiroth was in a sharing mood.

"I hope you won't be offended. I had a horrible dream, I dreamed that I had literally lost my mind. I kept calling this alien creature in a Mako tank, _Mother_. Zack's little blond grunt friend was there, Krause of whatever his name is," Sephiroth explained.

"Cloud," Angeal corrected and impulsively took Sephiroth's hand, he allowed him to and Angeal's thumb lazily stroked along the knuckles of his fingers.

"Yes, Cloud, it was like I was there and not there. Like I was a puppet where someone was pulling my strings and even using my voice. I couldn’t stop myself, I killed so many people. I did unspeakable things. I allowed something to control me because it offered me love" Sephiroth said as he did something that endeared him to Angeal even further. Sephiroth wasn't good at seeking or giving affection, but without a single comment, he lay down and put his head in Angeal's lap, inhaling in his lover's clean masculine scent to calm him as he told him of the dream that still haunted him. Large gentle fingers carded through his hair in a soothing way.

"That will never happen, I would never let it happen. You're here and loved and safe with me," Angeal said. "What else happened?"

"Zack tried to stop me and stabbed me in the side but I took this alien's head and ran into Cloud and Cloud killed me by throwing me into the Lifestream," Sephiroth explained.

"I promise to protect you from compact blond pipsqueaks wielding buster swords," Angeal promised him. As if a short man like Cloud could kill a man of Sephiroth's stature, Angeal thought dismissively. Perhaps if he were standing on a stepstool? He reasoned. Ridiculous!

Sephiroth finally looked directly at him for his final admission, "It seemed so real, after that, I didn't want die without at least experiencing physical love. I woke up and you were holding me and caring for me and I trusted you. I wanted it to be you," Sephiroth admitted.

"And I'm grateful you did or we could never have this," Angeal said, stroking his fingers along the arch of one of his high cheekbones. Although he loved having sex with the other man, it was intimate moments like this Angeal lived for. To stroke the man's penis and pleasure him was one thing, to just hold and touch him in a comforting way gave Angeal unspeakable joy.

Sephiroth was silent. "Tell me of more of this farm," he said.

"Of course, I'll run it of course with help from you," he said.

"How does one even run a farm?" He asked him. All the movies he had seen on the subject seemed to be about mending fences; apparently there were a lot of fences on farms and they all needed mending at any given time.

"Plowing land, irrigating it and planting the vegetable and harvesting them, I figure we should raise some livestock for us to eat, you know, some cows, some chickens and a Chocobo or two for transportation. And of course no farm is complete without dogs.”

"Sounds smelly," Sephiroth commented wrinkling his nose at the idea.

"First you would have to go public, you would tell them what they did to you in the labs and I would back you up, so would Genesis. People would be outraged and there would be a huge backlash. They would have to shut down the SOLDIER program and release all of us. We would buy the farm and all three of us would live there for a while, Genesis would probably leave once his family estate is released to him. Shinra took that from him to trap him here. He has no access to what he's entitled to. Genesis would certainly leave once he receives his wealth. You and I would remain and get married." Sephiroth looked sharply up at this but refused to interrupt him, just enjoying hearing the sounds of his lover's voice, it soothed him both body and soul.

"I would run the farm and you, you could go to school. I don't mean high school or anything like that. You don't have a GED because you never formally went to school, but you can get that online and then go to any university you want. You could be a scientist or doctor; something like that that allows you to use your brain. You're wasted as just sword wielding muscle. I checked into it, you would certainly qualify for a full scholarship. I could see you as a surgeon, you don't have to really talk to that many people for that career. As I said, you could go to work while I run the farm and look after the kids." Sephiroth looked up at this too.

"We can hire a surrogate to carry our children to term and I can raise them with your help. I know you don't want to procreate, so it can be my sperm we use. It's rather too bad neither of us are a woman but, oh well. That's why women hire out their bodies for this and there is artificial insemination......" Angeal said as he stroked his lover's hair and told him of their future.

Sephiroth listened, entranced by the idea how much stock his lover put into their relationship as he described a future Sephiroth could actually see in his mind. How they would start the first in a series of organic vegetable farms until they were scattered around the globe and they had a brand name. Himself as a famous surgeon coming home to his family every night. Two dark haired children with large blue eyes, him helping raise them through diaper changes, colds and the chicken pox and reading stories to them. Them growing into sleepy children they had to dress for school. The years advancing. Praising their son and proudly proclaiming him to be theirs when he excelled at hockey, doing the same for their daughter when she excelled at ballet. Birthdays, Christmas, Halloween, all of them spent together. Catching their daughter in the barn with her first boyfriend and Angeal having to hold Sephiroth back from killing the young teenage swain. Dropping their children off for their first day of University. Hugging their son when he told them he was engaged and the soft press of their new daughter-in-law's lips on his cheek at their wedding. Another wedding where their daughter was given away by both of her fathers. Grandchildren and he and Angeal growing into surly old men that fought and forgave just as easily. The story Angeal wove seemed so plausible and easily obtainable that it sounded like they could leave tomorrow and be away from here and living free by their own rules. No more Mako tanks or Mako treatments. No more testing, no more being forced by Shinra to attended balls with women out to seduce him. No more being regarded as just a test subject. To live free after being in captivity all your life was beyond attractive to Sephiroth. He had been surprised that Hojo had even allowed them as much freedom as he had, he had never really laid down the law before and it had been granted. He now lived with the person who made him feel happy. However, what he had promised in return rendered Angeal's dreams for them impossible.

Rather than disappoint his lover, he simply shyly asked him, "You really want to marry me? Why would you wish to shackle yourself to someone like me?"

Ah, so there it was. The jealousy Sephiroth felt over Genesis made much more sense to him now, which gave Angeal reason to believe that it mostly stemmed from Sephiroth’s own self-worth. This made him frown since he didn’t like the idea that the man curled up on his lap believed himself to be worth next to nothing. Everything was starting to make more sense now regarding some of the smaller male’s habits and the things he’s said, or couldn’t say. This beautiful man was undeniably strong and confident in battle, almost bordering on arrogant, but when it came to human things, Sephiroth withdrew and doubted himself. It wasn’t Angeal he felt reason to doubt, to mistrust, it was Sephiroth himself. Which reminded him of the nightmares his lover had of doing terrible things, of becoming a monster. It was undoubtedly clear to him now that Sephiroth’s dreams tended to reflect what he thought of himself, what he felt about himself. The dark-haired man suspected that this train of thinking was due to his life as an experiment under Hojo’s thumb, and his training to be an attack dog used by Shinra. These people had been poisoning his lover since birth, in more ways than one, and because of this, Angeal had never been more sure of anything in his life that they needed to get _away_ from Shinra and soon.

Slowly easing the exhausted and sore man up into an upright sitting position, Angeal rested his big hands on the slighter male’s shoulders. His intense blue eyes bore into vivid green eyes, brimming full of emotion that seemed to match the emotion close to breaking in his deep voice. Being a strong and placid man, he kept his voice calm and composed as he spoke even if it was a struggle for him. “Shackles are reserved for prisoners, for criminals, Seph. The only shackles I bear are the ones chaining you and me to Shinra. Those are the shackles I intend to break from you and from myself,” he explained and then took a moment to let those words sink into the other man’s mind before resuming. “The reason why I want to bind myself to you, in marriage, I mean, is for the same reason my father wanted to marry my mother: because she was the one…she made him happy and all he could see in his life was her, only her...and well, maybe a kid or two. They were together a very long time, Sephiroth, and led happy, fulfilling lives together. It’s because of them that I know what real love looks like, feels like. If I didn’t believe you were the one, I wouldn’t be here right now with you.”

Sephiroth averted his eyes, no longer able to hold that intense gaze as warmth bloomed in his chest. No matter how simple or concise Angeal’s words were, they always seemed to make his head swim and his chest ache so divinely. He didn’t care what Genesis preached, his Lovelorn book or whatever the devil it was called, had nothing on Angeal. With a huff that was more of a quiet sigh, he asked, “What is the point of marriage?”

“Some people never marry, but remain together in a committed relationship. Should you want this instead, I would not deny you and I would not corner you into marriage,” Angeal said carefully, not wanting his lover to think he was trying to box him in, force choices upon him like Shinra did. “Just think of marriage…like our farm. It’s only for us, and we own it, we build it, and we live it. The rest of the world knows it belongs to us, knows it’s sacred to us, and won’t dare touch it unless they wish to forfeit their lives. We would belong _with_ each other, not to one another, in a legal, sacred union no man or woman can deny.”

“And yet you intend to drag Genesis into our ‘farm’…” dryly remarked the silver-haired man, his eyes hooded from fatigue.

The larger male chuckled, “Again, I told you, he’s not the marrying type, and even if he was, there’s no way I’d let him have your hand.”

Had Sephiroth the strength and energy, he would have possibly countered with something pointing out Angeal’s unintended innuendo about his hand. He found himself leaning against the larger man, his head lolling against his shoulder. It was a struggle not to pass out then and there while strong arms picked him up bridal style, which he would have loudly protested had he the energy to. Instead, he silently allowed himself to be carried back into their bedroom and gingerly lowered down onto his side of the bed. He sat up long enough for Angeal to help disrobe him so that he could curl under the blankets in his naked glory. He couldn’t explain it really why he liked sleeping nude. Maybe it was the freedom of it? Nearly everything in his life was an order, a tedious routine all meant to keep him restrained. So yes, maybe that’s why he preferred sleeping naked in their home, not that Angeal ever complained.

“Just…think about it, Sephiroth. Promise me that you will think about it all and when you’re ready, we’ll talk again,” spoke Angeal before he kissed the crown of Sephiroth’s head while he tucked his lover in to trap his body heat.

“I promise,” murmured the General, his words nearly slurring as his eyelids dropped completely. The last thought he had before he succumbed to slumber was how beautiful Angeal’s dream was, how even someone like Genesis had his own dreams. Oh, how he envied them both for that, but he couldn’t help wondering...could someone like Sephiroth really dream, too?


	2. Part II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beware the smut.

Sephiroth awoke before the sun had even arisen as the glow of his eyes dimly lit the room. He realized that Angeal was cuddled up against his back while he lay on his side and Angeal's morning wood poked Sephiroth's buttocks. Feeling much more energetic and slightly frisky, Sephiroth fought the urge to wiggle his hips and playfully grind the contours of his firm, yet sensual curves ( _so he'd been told_ ) of his buttocks against his lover's rampant appendage.

However, he decided to let him sleep in. He gently detangled himself from Angeal's muscular arms and got out of bed. He tucked the covers around his sleeping lover and then smiled at how he had laid out in the chair beside their bed, a fresh t-shirt and lounge pants with his slippers lined up perfectly on the floor.

He got dressed, knowing that today was the first day of the week both had been granted off in anticipation of Sephiroth’s recovery, that meant it would be a day of him taking it easy and Angeal fussing over him while doing small chores around the house.

With that in mind, he decided to make breakfast for both of them now that he had at least some of his strength back. He wasn't a gourmet cook like his lover, but he was perfectly adequate in the kitchen. He quickly decided on omelets, toast and bacon and put the bacon on to cook while he began to break the eggs for omelets. He was planning on putting sautéed mushrooms and onions in them, along with diced tomatoes and four types of cheeses.

Angeal had few addictions in life; he neither smoked, did drugs, nor drank to the excess, but he wasn't averse to sharing a nice bottle of wine over dinner. His true addiction was for dairy: he couldn't ever seem to eat or drink enough of it, preferring cream to milk, added butter to things like it was a new topping, yoghurt and iced cream never lasted long in their fridge or freezer and cheese had to be replenished almost daily.

As Sephiroth added milk to the eggs and beat them to a froth, he thought about his dream, it seemed that some part of what Angeal had described as their new life together had spilled over to his dreams.

He had been looking down at his hands where he seemed to be preparing sandwiches. He had frowned to see what appeared to be an elaborately braided ring in his wedding finger. It was of some kind of silver colored metal, married with a black metal that he supposed must represent Angeal's dark hair, against his own silver.

"Can I have the spicy mustard on mine, Father?" A young feminine voice said.

He looked over and could see two small children eating cereal at a kitchen table, yet he seemed to know them. The dark haired boy with Angeal's wide blue eyes was Gavin, he was large for his seven years of age and was fairly husky, with none of it being fat. The slight girl was named Marnie; she was five years old. Although Sephiroth had vowed he would never procreate to create a child that would be self-conscious about their looks as he had been. He had caved after Gavin was born and Angeal had endlessly pleaded with him to father their second child, to make their family a perfect blend of them both. She had his eyes but had the soft wavy blonde hair of the surrogate they had hired to carry both their children. Gavin certainly favored his father and Marnie was a lovely miniature version of her own father. Sephiroth could tell they both attended private school by their uniforms.

He looked around, trying to guess where he was. He could see a barn out back of the property and then realized it looked familiar and remembered the advertisement Angeal had shown him. There was a mirror on the wall and he noticed right away that he seemed to be wearing an expensive lightweight shirt and tie that was tucked neatly into the shirt to avoid getting sandwich spreads on it. He had his hair back in a long, tight braid and looked more mature, perhaps around thirty-five and somehow seemed more relaxed, confident and happy. He was smiling.

"You sure like yours spicy," he heard himself say.

"I'm a Spice Girl," she declared and he smiled though he didn't get the joke.

"Father, where is Daddy?" Gavin asked. Sephiroth marveled at how they had managed to distinguish who was who in their two male household to their children.

"I'm right here." Angeal said, coming in from the barn and smelling like he had, he wore a worn shirt and bib overalls. Sephiroth noticed how Marnie's nose wrinkled first, indicating she had a sensitive sense of smell like himself.

"Daddy you stink," she complained.

"That's the smell of our family fortune being made," he said, picked her up and kissed her while she struggled to get away.

Sephiroth smiled at his family and finished packing up their lunches and then clapped his hands. "Come, I will walk you to the bus and then I have to get to the hospital," he said handing them their lunch bags and then taking a tiny hand in each of his own. "As for you, you had better not be smelling like that when I get home," he said kissing his husband goodbye and walked out the door with their children chattering endlessly about their busy social lives, he felt elated at it all and his heart full of love.

Sephiroth shook his head to clear it. Marriage; was it even possible for him? He wanted to be with Angeal and would do anything to keep him but could he take that step?

At the same time, could he deny him something so simple? It wasn't like he planned to be with anyone else, ever. But to bind himself that way? Would that be even fair with how much Angeal could give the right person? Not someone who used coldness and indifference as a shield to lock out the world and couldn't give the warm and giving man what he deserved.  But was he selfless enough give him up after he had admitted the true depths of his feelings for Sephiroth? He wanted to be happy, so much of him longed to be his spouse, but he was also troubled.

He glanced at his hand again; as if expecting to see the same wedding ring like in his dream, but his ring finger was bare as ever. Then he wondered what his own dreams were again. Angeal's were to settle down and live a simple life and share a marriage as if they were regular men. Genesis's was the return of his family fortune and use that to remove himself from Shinra's grasp.

Sephiroth’s were much different; he wanted power, not because he was selfish. He to turn his false title into a reality, if only to beat Hojo at his own game. He wanted to cease being only the recruitment poster boy, he wanted to become a real hero, one that was respected and no one could deny. Then he would be rid of all of that was Shinra, they could no longer limit him, he would be free to take any position he wanted once his career was well and truly established. He could claim his real love at that time and them be free to do as they would. No more fake dates with women he wasn't interested in for the sake of appearances. It wasn't that he disliked women, his heart was simply spoken for and they happened to be male.

His mind spun, getting married was so....human and so simple. Did he dare....he flinched when it suddenly looked like his hands were surrounded by fire and then stained with blood and looked up sharply when there was a knock on the window.  He looked up to find Genesis there and decided his vision must simply be that of the dawn and the new sun reflecting off Genesis's hair.

Sephiroth turned and sighed impatiently to see Genesis gesturing for him to open the door, it was far too early in the morning to have to deal with the insufferable ass.

"Genesis," he said by way of greeting as he opened the door, "Do come in, but please be quiet as Angeal is still asleep," he said letting him in wondering why he was there so early and immaculately dressed in his full uniform.

It was sometimes hard to believe that they were of the same rank and wore virtually the same uniform, though they have been custom designed according to the wearer's specifications.

Sephiroth had chosen his signature uniform because it enhanced his unique looks and was made to make him appear even more intimidating, and that was saying a lot.

Whereas, Genesis's made him look like a strutting peacock in comparison, or rutting in his case. Even looking at the abundance of red on him made Sephiroth’s aching brain ache all the more. It didn't help that Genesis appeared trying to undress him with his eyes.

"Was he up late playing nursemaid to you?" He asked him.

"He was aiding me after my Mako treatment because he chose to, I didn't ask him to. I know that it feels similar when you have your own and must have someone care for you during that time as well." Sephiroth stressed.

"Please, I have about thirty people who would love to each and every time and I make the winner jump through hoops in order to be selected for that privilege," he said with a smirk. Sephiroth liked the man but found his sense of entitlement to be wearisome. He was like the sadist Laird of the land from novels, who thought nothing of ordering pretty peons to come to his bed under the assumption that he owned them. How Angeal had chosen him as a best friend boggled his mind. They were so different.

"Would you like some coffee?" Sephiroth asked him politely.

"That common swill? No thanks. With my refined tastes, it would be like dishwater on my tongue," he said. "I love what Angeal has done with the place, it's charming in a bourgeoisie sort of way. Your begonias, mixed with hydrangeas and shrubs out front are quite delightful to the eyes. Those would be the large pink flowers, mixed with the purple/blue snowballs shaped flowers and green leafy bushy things to you, Sephiroth," he said in a sing-song voice.

"I know what they are," Sephiroth shot back. Though to be fair, the only word he understood was, shrub out of what Genesis had said. He left the gardening up to Angeal, it wasn't his forte. "Now is there a reason for your visit or did you just come to give me gardening tips?"

"So if I get myself a steady, will I be given a house too?" Genesis asked him.

"That's for Shinra to decide," Sephiroth said.

"Oh, I see that Angeal told you about the farm?" he said, noticing the advertisement on the table.  "Did he tell you his whole dream about him playing Farmer Brown, the marriage and kids with you as a working wife?" He asked him.

Sephiroth drew back, affronted. Why would Angeal have told him about any of that before telling Sephiroth himself? "I knew about that a long time ago; he is my significant other after all. My decision is not yet made as to whether we shall formally marry, but that is just a hang up on my part. As for myself being the wife: there are no women here, we are both men," Sephiroth explained. "Besides I should think that as yourself being one of his oldest friends, you shouldn't belittle his dreams."

"I'm not, they are noble dreams and in keeping with him being a man of the land that he is. He was never meant be a SOLDIER any more than I was. I was just teasing you. You're so cute when you're angry." Genesis said and blew him a kiss.

"Why are you invited to the farm?" Sephiroth asked him outright.

Suddenly Genesis's flamboyant and teasing ways vanished. "I'm invited because he insisted. I've known him since I was four and he found some older boys beating on me because of my hair color and that I came from a wealthy family and no other reason. I didn't do anything to provoke them. We have been friends since that day, he's the most noble man I know and you should be lucky to be included in his dreams. He wants me to come only to make sure I have somewhere safe to go, I won't overstay my welcome, it is only until my money is released. We _are_ the SOLDIER program, without us, it will collapse. We need all to go and soon." Genesis said.

"You sound like Angeal, things are fine." Sephiroth said dismissively but he was starting to get the same uneasy feeling as his friend and lover.

Then Genesis suddenly grabbed his hand. "Genesis, what are you doing?" Sephiroth asked him.

“I came to warn you, warn you both. Bad things are going to happen, that is why I'm here so early. I found a gray hair on my head this morning." Genesis said.

"That just means you're aging like everyone else. Yes, even you shall lose your pretty looks and get old. I can pick you up some hair dye if you want. Tell me the color you normally use?  I don't know when I shall be able to tell when I get my own." Sephiroth said, attempting to lighten the mood, Genesis looked truly terrified.

"It’s not only that; I've been getting these dreams where I start aging rapidly, you were in it, you both were. I looked in the mirror this morning and my coloring looks off, I'm too pale and it feels like my flesh isn't so tight on my bones anymore. Like my body is starting to decay while I still walk in my flesh," he explained and Sephiroth had to admit he didn't look as robust as normal, his normally pale face was almost ghostly against the bright colors of his hair and clothing.

"You're probably worn out, try sleeping alone more often," he suggested. "You could be coming down with something."

"No something bad is going to happen. Get out of here, Sephiroth and take Angeal with you, it might be too late for me. If you love him, leave, leave now before it's too late." Genesis almost begged him.

"Nothing is going to happen. Gen, it sounds like all you need is some proper rest. You should go home and go back to bed, I'll tell Angeal you were here." Sephiroth dismissively promised him, though he was forced to wonder about his own dreams.

Genesis seemed to sag that Sephiroth didn't take heed of his warning, then straightened up. "Bye cutie," he said, resuming his role as arrogant ass.

Breakfast was ready when a sleepy looking Angeal joined him. "Something sure smells good.....and the food," he said draping himself over Sephiroth's back for a hug from behind. "I thought I heard Genesis…"

"He was here until I chased him away." Sephiroth said turning in his arms.

"My hero, I love him as a friend, but I can't face him first thing in the morning." Angeal said as he leaned against Sephiroth and slipped his hands under his worn t-shirt and caressed every dip and groove of his firm torso.

"I think I shall claim my reward. I'm sorry, Angeal but breakfast shall be late," he said as he claimed his lips in a way that seemed to warm Angeal all the way to the tips his toes as Sephiroth shocked him by taking the initiative in their sex lives for once.

Like a man possessed, he kissed Angeal, forcing his tongue inside as he crowded the larger man against the kitchen counter, his hands wandering under his shirt to burn trails against the body he knew so well. He shuddered when he felt Angeal kiss him back, deepening the press of their lips together as his arms hung loosely around the shorter male’s hips. Displeased by that, the Sephiroth broke the kiss, pressing his smooth face against the larger man’s somewhat stubbly face and trying not to groan when he remembered just how divine it felt to have that rough, bristly facial hair drag against every inch of his skin. Voice gravelly from arousal, and lips close to his ear, Sephiroth breathed, “Touch me, I won’t break.” Because he knew Angeal was always concerned about him after his…tank time, and if he didn’t give him the green light, the other man often treated him like glass. Sephiroth was a man, not a woman and sometimes he just had to remind Angeal of that.

At those words, muscular arms tightened considerably around Sephiroth before one dropped down to slip underneath the waistband of his pants to squeeze and rub a firm ass cheek. He’d always been a bit of an ass man and deeply appreciated a nice ass on any man or woman. Though a part of him missed the soft flesh of a woman’s posterior, he felt now that nothing could ever compare to his lover’s marvelous ass. Since the green-eyed man’s lips were still close to his ear, he heard the sharp intake of breath as he felt the muscles tense under his fingers, resulting in hips grinding slowly, deliciously against his own. Smiling against the other man’s face, Angeal waited as patiently as he could for him to make the next move, which was difficult to do since he already knew what he wanted to do to Sephiroth.

“Not here,” protested an out of breath Sephiroth, who suddenly tore himself away from the larger man. He glanced at the food sitting on the table near them as if to emphasis his point. While it was true they had pretty much _christened_ every room in the house, he didn’t want to risk ruining the food with their salacious activities. There was no way he’d have the energy to wash everything and cook all over again after their tryst. While he wasn’t opposed to swallowing Angeal’s seed, he wasn’t keen on the idea of it unwittingly becoming a _topping_.

“Lead the way, love,” said Angeal as he slipped his larger hand in Sephiroth’s. He still found it amusing just how finicky Sephiroth was about cleanliness now when back then, the man had put college kid dorms to shame. Like with many things, he had noticed that once Sephiroth learned something, it remained ingrained within mind and became habit.

Though they were both still sexually charged, Sephiroth could still see the love reflected in blue eyes that always reminded him of water. Squeezing the larger man’s hand, he led them to their bedroom before kicking the door open hard enough to knock it off its hinges. He then quickly pulled his dark-haired lover into their shared bedroom. The silver-haired man growled out, “Strip.”

Angeal chuckled, “You could have _opened_ the door…”

“That was an order, soldier,” barked Sephiroth, eyes narrowed and arms crossed much the same way he appeared before insolent cadets and Soldiers.

“Yes, Sir.” Raising an eyebrow, Angeal shook his head, but still complied by throwing his shirt from his body and stepping out of his loose pajama bottoms. Once he was fully naked, he stood tall and shameless in all his nude glory. His large, enflamed cock twitched a few times when he noticed the way green eyes hungrily raked over his body. He had to close his eyes to calm himself down a bit for a moment. It wasn’t easy to stand there aroused and naked when he couldn’t help remembering the heat and feel of that mouth and body. His eyes flew open when he felt Sephiroth’s hand splay itself against his broad chest before shoving him down with enough force to make him sit on the edge of the bed.

Eyes sultry with blown pupils, Sephiroth slowly lowered himself down to his knees in between the other man’s spread legs. Running his hands over those thick, powerful thighs, muscles flexing under his touch, he eyed the turgid organ that was often used as a tool to drive him to ecstasy. Thoughts of Angeal fucking him, his heavy body pressing him into the mattress, caused him to shudder from memory. No, not yet. He had to bite back a moan and focus himself back to the task at hand. Glancing up at the other man, he smiled before leaning over to lick the head, his tongue teasing the slit, causing Angeal to groan. His silky, silver hair slipped over his shoulders and tickled the bare skin of Angeal’s thighs, which is something he knew his lover enjoyed. When a large hand slipped into his hair, he chose that moment to lick the full length of his man’s cock before he slowly swallowed several inches until he couldn’t take anymore. Because Angeal was rather large, above average, that’s for sure, Sephiroth was only able to take in a little over half of his length when it came to oral sex. Fortunately for them both, Sephiroth’s ass was well accustomed to taking Angeal’s cock and always could accommodate every throbbing inch of his manhood.

Angeal watched Sephiroth through hooded eyes, enjoying the sight and feel of this beautiful man going down on him. It wasn’t a common occurrence, yet it wasn’t so rare he felt starved for it. He threaded his fingers through long silver hair before coming to rest on the scalp, where he rubbed lazy circles. With every suck, swirl of tongue, and hum, Angeal had to fight back the urge to thrust into that wicked mouth. All too soon, he felt the familiar tightening in his groin that signaled his impending release, he tightened his hand in the slighter male’s hair as a way of warning. As tempting as it was to spend himself in that mouth, he knew Sephiroth needed more from him. Sometimes he could go several rounds, but usually that required time to recuperate and right now, he knew his lover needed him.

Noticing the familiar warning, Sephiroth immediately released the heavy erection from his mouth. Panting lightly, he leaned against one of Angeal’s thighs as they both calmed down enough so that they could continue. When he felt he was in control of himself, he shakily stood up to drop the clothes from his body. He barely had time to blink before Angeal pulled him close, hands cupping his ass as he stared up lustfully at the silver-haired man.

Rubbing his face into Sephiroth’s stomach, enjoying the way he shivered at the touch of his stubble, he asked, “How do you want it?”

Sephiroth’s thoughts from earlier returned to him, which made him hiss, “I don’t care how…just want you on top of me, pushing me into the bed…pinning me down…”

Angeal smiled at him and couldn’t deny the appeal of such a request. Kissing his navel, he said, “On your back then.”

Without having to be told twice, Sephiroth pulled out of Angeal’s arms to crawl onto the bed. He sat in the middle of the bed, eagerly waiting for the other to join him. The silver General wasn’t kept waiting long before the larger Soldier climbed onto the bed, crawling toward him like a predator to prey. Within moments, Sephiroth was pushed back to lie down on his back with his legs splayed wide like a feast. Angeal reached down, fingering the twitching orifice that always seemed so tiny before he managed to stretch it wide enough to receive him. This served to remind him of something vital to their joining. Looking at Sephiroth’s face, he sighed, “Do we even have any left?”

“Of course we do,” snorted Sephiroth as if that was a stupid question. He then quickly tossed a tube of unopened lube beside the larger man. “Make it quick, Angeal.”

Shaking his head at his lover’s impatience, he opened the tube and poured a generous amount of lube on his hand before he slicked himself generously. He poured more into his hand and then worked carefully to stretch him enough to receive him. Despite the squirming and the demands to hurry up from Sephiroth, Angeal took his time thoroughly preparing his lover. No matter how fast Sephiroth healed or how much pain he could take, the dark-haired man was never willing to hurt him. When he was satisfied with his work, Angeal settled himself more fully between long, pale muscular legs before positioning himself to breech. Looking down at the countenance of his lover, he watched avidly as he penetrated his willing, pliant body with a series of shallow, gentle thrusts that served to work him open until he could push past the ring of muscle into deeper depths. Breathing deeply, Angeal waited for what felt like forever until he felt Sephiroth push back against him, which served as his signal for him to get on with it. Kissing all over his face and lips, Angeal began driving into him, slowly at first until need demanded more of him. Remembering how Sephiroth wanted it, the larger man shifted enough so that he could press as much of his body against him as humanely possible before releasing his weight. Normally with his past lovers, Angeal had never dared rest too much of his weight on them lest he crush them; however, with Sephiroth, he knew the man could take him.

Sephiroth was a moaning, writhing mess, though he did his best to try to stifle the noises he made. His arms clung desperately to Angeal, always trying to pull him closer to him as they rutted against one another. The heavy weight of the other man’s body was pure bliss to him as he pounded into him, massaging his insides with every thrust into his spasming body. He couldn’t stop the cry or the scream that escaped every time that big dick slammed against his sensitive bundle of nerves. Through the slapping of flesh against flesh, Sephiroth barely heard the feverish words grunted to him while Angeal fucked him against the bed, keeping him pinned down by sheer weight alone.

Sephiroth felt euphoria rush over him each time his lover slammed his sweet spot, he was a man lost in the thrall of their fuck while Angeal took dominance of his body and owned him completely both body, heart and soul. Soon sweat slicked each super enhanced body and that provided relief for Sephiroth's neglected organ as it was rubbed against each hard belly, grinding it and worrying it. It was too much and not enough as his long legs tightened even further around his lover's large body and his hands gripped Angeal’s flexing buttocks and his head tilted for a kiss.

Angeal wasted no time and caught Sephiroth's lips with his own, ravishing his mouth with his tongue. To kiss Sephiroth was not like kissing a woman, although his body was mainly hairless and his lips silky, Sephiroth was male through and through. His kisses were hard and needy; Angeal had actually been shocked how much he had enjoyed kissing their first encounter and gave him all that he wanted, loving the texture of his lips and his taste. He continued to pound into him but held back a bit, he knew he wasn't at full strength. Normally, they could go all night long but Sephiroth needed to eat, so their pairing would be a shorter one, but no less a satisfying heartfelt coupling, just enough to cement their new understanding of their relationship where he finally told Sephiroth how much he meant to him and he accepted it.

He broke Sephiroth's kiss and grunted when he shot into his hot depths and Sephiroth's own essence sprayed their stomachs from his tool's erotic massage. Angeal collapsed forward to hold his still orgasming lover and just managed to make out at the edge of his hearing as Sephiroth cried out is a low strangled voiced, "I love you" while in the grips of his orgasm. Angeal held him as close as he could as he still shuddered at how powerful it had been and didn't say anything, because to call Sephiroth on it would probably embarrass him and cause him to deny it, it was better not to let him know that he had given Angeal the most precious gift in the world. Although Angeal knew that he did in his heart, it was nice to finally hear the words.

Lying sprawled out on his stomach like a fresh kill, Sephiroth dozed, half of his face smashed into Angeal’s pillow, his lips slightly parted as a thin trickle of drool seeped into the pillow. Their coupling had wiped out a good portion of his energy and though he had been hungry, a nap had claimed him first. His nap was so deep that he didn’t seem to notice the big gentle hands that thoroughly cleaned off the semen smeared on his stomach and leaking out from between his legs. He didn’t even stir when his now much cleaner body was rolled over to the other side on his back. As soon as the hands left him, he rolled back onto Angeal’s side onto his stomach.

Angeal sighed, feeling both amusement and affection at the sight of the stubborn, sleeping man. It didn’t slip his notice that right after their sex, Sephiroth seemed to always gravitate to Angeal’s side and would even curl himself up against Angeal’s back. Sometimes he’s even snake his arms around him and spoon the larger man from behind. As much as Angeal enjoyed holding him, he also loved it when Sephiroth held him, too. He pretty much savored every ounce of affection the other man showed him, whether big or small, and was careful not to comment on it too much.

As tempting as it was to just lay down and cuddle up to Sephiroth, he knew he had things to take care of first. As the tuckered out Soldier slept, Angeal busied himself by tending to the kitchen. First he placed the salvageable food in the toaster oven to keep the food warm for when Sephiroth eventually roused. He didn’t really want to eat without him, so he’d wait for now, but that didn’t stop him from snagging a piece of bacon for himself anyway. While he waited, he washed the pans, utensils, and any other dish that needed to be washed. Next he wiped down the stove, counters, and even swept and mopped the floor until it sparkled. As boring as cleaning was, he didn’t mind it as much as others would, yet he’d agree it was fairly tedious. At the moment, he was on cloud nine due to their recent bout of great sex and those three words his lover had admitted. Even if Sephiroth didn’t want to marry him, or aspire to all of his dreams, Angeal would still be happy just as long as they were together and away from Shinra. While he accepted this, a part of him felt like their relationship had deepened due to their talk and he suspected Sephiroth would want to marry him once he came completely to terms with his self-worth, feelings, and his aspirations. And if he were being honest with himself, they pretty much acted like a married couple already and have for awhile now. So in his eyes, half the battle was already over with the next half being the waiting part.

After the kitchen was spotless, Angeal stepped outside to get a breath of fresh air while he checked on his garden. He was often teased by Sephiroth about how he fussed over his garden almost as much as he fussed over his lover. The silver-haired man also liked to joke saying that the garden was Angeal’s mistress. Smiling and shaking his head at the memories of that, the raven-haired man spent a good hour outside fussing over his plants. He’d been asked before by one of his fans why he liked gardening and at the time, he had no answer. He thought he did it because he liked it as a hobby, but over time, he realized it was therapeutic for him. He had seen war, countless deaths, and had taken many lives in his young life. Back then, he had believed being a Soldier was honorable, made him a hero, but now he knew better. There was no honor tearing apart a country and murdering its people merely for resisting a life-sucking corporation. Angeal didn’t want to do that anymore, didn’t want to sustain Shinra anymore; however, by leaving and exposing Shinra, he knew the Soldier program would be dismantled and Shinra would be held accountable. He knew without a doubt that Shinra had his enemies and not just the Wutaian rebels, either. The old man’s greed, his corruption would end with the crumbling of his corporation.

So yes, gardening was calming for him. It wasn’t really so surprising to him to know that planting seeds, creating lives, felt so much better to him than taking lives. Perhaps that is why he wanted to have children with Sephiroth, even if neither could ever be the mother. Not to mention the food they’d grow would not only support their family, but help many families grow and thrive for decades to come.

As he worked on his garden, another thought weeded itself inside his mind. _Genesis_. Why had Genesis stopped by this morning? While it wasn’t unheard of for their friend to visit, it was exceedingly rare for the redhead to visit so early. Unlike Angeal, Genesis was a night owl and loved staying up late and sleeping in, which meant he was usually the most unpleasant person to be around work in the early hours. So what was the reason for his unexpected visit? He combed his memory for the reason, but all he could remember was Sephiroth claiming to have chased him off. Half-asleep and horny then, Angeal hadn’t thought to question his lover further about it. It was probably nothing…maybe Genesis was just stopping by before hitting the sack after a night of partying. But no. Angeal’s instincts were telling him something was wrong, something was off with Genesis. He’d have to remember to question Sephiroth about it later _after_ he’d properly eaten and showered. Knowing the man’s fastidious ways, he’d probably insist on changing the bed sheets and showering before receiving his much needed sustenance. Oh, what a beast Angeal had created.

Sephiroth woke up and found himself cuddling Angeal’s pillow and felt a little embarrassed by this but not as much he used to. He had been so shy that he hadn’t even known how to approach Angeal after how he had initiated him into sex. He had been embarrassed by how wanton he had been and so needy, that he thought the other man would mock him to others until he got his text and felt compelled to see him again, but away from prying eyes and invited him to his apartment. He liked to think he had changed since then, both sexually and emotionally by being in a committed relationship with a person who knew of his shortcomings and accepted them without question. Someone who had lovingly and patiently guided him domestically, sexually and emotionally and asked for nothing in return but just for him being himself. He chuckled in memory of how he had been mortified at how often billowing white sheets were hung out to dry on their clotheslines. How Angeal had sat him down and explained that people knew they were together, it didn’t matter how often they changed their sheets, that was their business. Couples were going to make love, end of story.

Sometimes it felt like a dream that he had a lover, little thought was given to either his social or sexual development when they were trying to make him the perfect weapon. What they hadn’t counted on was that he would meet someone who was gentle and patient with him and had a heart big enough to take him in along with everyone else he cared about. Angeal’s heart seemed to have no limits.

Sephiroth got up and stretched, he knew that he wasn’t back to his normal strength yet and that sleep was the best thing for his recovery but he wasn’t the napping sort. So he got up and smiled that Angeal had folded his discarded clothes and put them onto the bed beside him and draped his robe over the chair. He got up and put it on and his slippers. He had scoffed when Angeal had presented him with the loafer style tan colored suede slippers that were wool lined. He had thanked him though he wasn’t a slipper sort of person, until he tried them on at Angeal’s insistence and found out they were the most comfortable thing that he had ever worn and had been wearing them around their place every day since.

The first thing he did was take a shower, combed out his hair and allowed it to air dry. He hung up his robe to dry and decided he wanted to wear real clothes and got into a pair of comfy black combat pants that were so worn they looked more of a grey color and a black long sleeved t-shirt. He left off putting on socks and just slipped his long, narrow feet into his slippers again. The clothes were comfortable enough that he could nap in them later if he felt the need to.

Finally, he stripped the bed and put fresh linen on it and added the bedding to the pile from the day before in their washer, he looked out the window to see if it was a nice day to hang out laundry; it was. So he started the machine and smirked that people were going to be gossiping to see so many sheets hung up to dry on their clothesline. Fuck them, let them gossip.

He went to the kitchen to find that Angeal had completely cleaned up the kitchen and felt grateful for this and discovered the food had been placed into the toaster oven on low to keep it warm. He smiled and shook his head, knowing that Angeal hadn’t eaten yet, he hated to eat alone if both of them were home. So he set the table and headed out to the garden to tell him to come eat, knowing he would find him there.

Angeal frequently lost track of time when gardening and would probably still be gardening way into the night if Sephiroth wasn’t there to make him come indoors.

He stepped out onto their porch and could see Angeal weeding their flower garden. Angeal’s idea of flower beds were barely controlled chaos as far as Sephiroth could tell. He had tried to help him when Angeal first put it in. But Sephiroth’s idea of gardening was to use a scientific approach as to where certain plants should go. If the instructions said they should be planted fifteen centimeters apart, come hell or high water they were going to be planted that way.

Whereas Angeal loved to buy random types of flowers, shrubs and flowering bushes and plant them wherever he felt like and in any color combinations he decided on. He didn’t like pruning the shrubs, allowing them to grow however they would and the only nod to organization was a uniform flower border surrounding them and frequent weeding. They had another garden in back for their vegetables where Angeal had allowed Sephiroth to come in with his string and tape measures to make everything uniform and make the best use of the space, so their plants were perfectly in line with each other and allowed just enough space for their root systems “like proper soldiers” Angeal had said facetiously.

He watched his lover on his knees weeding the flower bed and he went to call him to breakfast and then was shocked when instead he said “Angeal how many times have I told you to wear your gardening hat?”

He stood there blushing while Angeal looked at him and laughed at how he was nagging him for once. “Well you do tend to burn.” Sephiroth said stubbornly. Sephiroth, himself could be in a desert for days and his pigment never changed. He had found that out when trying out a tanning bed earlier in his life in an attempt to blend in, it never took. “Just come inside and eat,” he insisted.

They ate and Angeal heavily praised the omelets as if he were eating the finest cuisine. “So what did Genesis want?” He asked Sephiroth.

“He said he found a grey hair on his head and had a bad dream. I told him he needed to get more sleep. Honestly, when is he going to stop going out so much? If he got some proper sleep, he would be fine. But, I was forced to wonder; it was like his complexion was turning grey.” Sephiroth said with a frown.

“Do you mind if I go check on him after I eat? Just to see how he is?” Angeal assured him.

Sephiroth wasn’t happy about the idea, but knew that he was just being concerned about their friend. He felt more secure now that he knew how Angeal felt about him. “Feel free, do you need me to come? I have some paperwork I wouldn’t mind tackling if not,” he said.

“You should stay home and rest. Are you going to be okay on your own?” he asked him.

“I know where to lie down if I get too tired. I’ll be fine. It will only take me about an hour” he assured him.

Angeal got dressed and gave Sephiroth a clinging kiss goodbye as was his habit and Sephiroth laughed when he kissed him on the tip of his nose. “I swear you have a nasal fetish,” he chided him.

“No, you just have a cute nose,” he said and gave his lover’s butt a swift pinch to his yelp of surprise and left with a smile on his face despite the worry for his friend.

Sephiroth went to their office and feeling curious about the rings from his dream, he googled a general description of them and froze in shock to find them on the first website. They were completely identical! He thought about how Angeal wanted to get married and on impulse decided to buy them. Even if they didn’t marry, Angeal would probably be pleased with them wearing the rings at least symbolically of their commitment, with or without a marriage certificate and the fact that Sephiroth bought them would make him happy.

He downloaded a ring sizing guide and measured his ring finger and then wondered how to get Angeal’s without having to ask him. Then he cracked up and went and got the purity ring that Angeal had worn until he was eighteen and had his first sexual encounter. He knew that he had reached his adult height at that time and his body filled out soon after. So he added a few extra centimeters to his measurement for growth, he updated his shopping cart and entered his credit card information and just like that, the rings would be forged and on their way. He smiled at how shocked and pleased Angeal would be when they arrived and turned his attention to his paperwork.

Angeal was about to use his key to let himself into Genesis’s place when Genesis answered the door wearing a rumpled t-shirt and sleep pants and had a blanket draped over his shoulders. His normally well-coiffed razor cut hair was a tangle, indicating he had been in bed. However, his face looked positively grey, more so than from any hangover the man had had that Angeal had ever witnessed. “Genesis are you okay?” he asked, helping him to sit.

“I don’t feel so well; I must be coming down with something,” he said dismissively. Both ignored the lie; Mako infused men did not to get sick, except after their treatments.

“Sephiroth said you had a bad dream.” Angeal said as he touched his forehead searching for a fever but it felt cool.

“You said something was coming and I scoffed and mocked you. This morning I found a grey hair on my head and now look at this,” he said, showing him where an entire strand of his hair was now a solid grey color. “This happened while I slept, my skin feels strange. It’s like I’m aging. I don’t know what is going on, but I don’t think I have a lot of time left. That farm. If you can, buy it now and take Sephiroth and flee. I will throw them off the scent, I will make certain they don’t find you. I shall join you when it’s safe. I need to get away from here. I don’t want to die like this, not here.”

“You won’t die, not one is dying,” he insisted and then thought of the guest bedroom in their place and wanted to offer it, he could easily take care of them both, but knew how Sephiroth would feel about having Genesis in their private home. “Come home with me, I can look after you,” he said anyway.

“No, I can look after myself or call one of my old lovers. They are always willing to spend time with me. You’re in a relationship and you both bore me with how dull you are,” he insisted, though it sounded hollow to both of their ears.

“I can stay with you until they arrive.” Angeal suggested.

Genesis put his hand on his shoulder. “You’re a good friend. You always have been but you already have a patient at home who needs you. Go home Angeal, go home to your man. But know this, I could have taken him from you a time long ago if I had seriously wanted to,” he bragged, trying to sound like his cocky self.

“You sure could. Call me later.” Angeal said and hesitated as he left and Genesis could only search for changes in the mirror after his friend left, too afraid to call anyone to come to him with how he looked. Genesis was a vain man and feared losing his looks as much as he did dying and it looked like he might be doing both.

 

Twenty minutes of attempted paperwork, Sephiroth dropped his pen and rubbed his face with both of his hands before hiding it. Try as he might, he just couldn’t force himself to concentrate long enough on his work. Every time he tried to read, the words would run together and the information just wouldn’t stick in his brain. While exhaustion was the most likely suspect, it wasn’t the only thing causing the dysfunction of his mental state. When he tried to focus on his work, he found his attention wandering off to thoughts of Genesis’s greying hair and skin, and to the vivid nightmares Sephiroth could barely remember. His nightmares were blurry, nonsensical things that he could never grasp onto and remember visually, but what he couldn’t remember in picture, he remembered quite vividly in feeling, of how he felt in those terrifying, distressing dreams. The only thing that could ever quell these horrible feelings was the presence of Angeal, which is probably while they slept, Sephiroth ended up clinging to him, or wriggling himself in his arms. Unfortunately, Angeal wasn’t here right now and though the man had barely been gone half an hour, he felt like it had been days already. For a moment, he was tempted to pick up his PHS to call Angeal, but remembered he had left it in the bedroom. He’d just have to be patient and wait for him to return. Angeal always came back to him and today wouldn’t be any different.

Releasing a deep breath, the Silver General once again attempted to focus his brain on his work with little to no success. Eventually the pen he had kept picking up in a half-hearted attempt to write was dropped to the floor and his head slowly lowered down to be cradled by his folded arms. His bleary, malachite eyes slid shut as he warmly welcomed the comfort of sleep. Yes, he’d nap for just a little bit then he’d get back to work…

When Sephiroth woke up again, he was dressed in his familiar black leathers and sprawled out face down on the dank, mold-smelling ground of somewhere dark and unfamiliar. His Mako green eyes quickly adjusted to the dark, glowing brightly as he slowly rose up to stand. Disorientated and confused, he glanced around trying to place just where he was when a strange sound snared his attention. He didn’t know what it was, or exactly where it was coming from, but something inside of him was forcing him to move, to head towards the source. Whatever it was, it called out to him, filling him with the desperate need to find it.

“Angeal?” He called out, but received no reply in return. Frowning at this, he continued walking down the long, decrepit hallways of what looked like an old abandoned mansion. Some of the doors were opened and as he passed, he caught sight of moonlight streaming eerily through dusty windows, which illuminated the cobwebs and sheet covered furniture. As he traveled, he couldn’t help remembering a horror flick he had once watched with Angeal and Genesis, which had featured an old, haunted mansion filled with violent, vengeful poltergeists. It had done very little for him, but to his amusement, Genesis had been terrified of the movie and would turn his face away and feign a cough or a yawn to cover up the fact that he was scared. And Angeal, well, he seemed to like the movie well enough though he feigned fear just so he had an excuse to cuddle up with Sephiroth. Genesis was usually too wrapped up in himself and his own fear to really notice them and if he ever did, he failed to comment on it.

Where was Angeal? Better yet, where was Sephiroth at this present time? He didn’t know this place, yet something about it beckoned him and seemed familiar somehow. Something was pulling at him, making his steps faster as they echoed through the hauntingly silent house. Why was this place so familiar to him and why did he feel this way? He was pretty sure he’d never been to this place before, wherever this was, yet his instincts seemed to scream otherwise.

After what felt like a stretch of several lonely hours, which in reality was only around twenty minutes or so, Sephiroth found himself downstairs in what looked like a creepy laboratory, though abandoned, still was in better condition than the rest of the mansion. The bright fluorescent lights flickered on a few times before remaining lit, which meant they were most likely motion detected lights. Some of the bulbs continued to flicker, and some remained dead and dark, yet there was still enough light for him to get a decent, if not eerie look at his surroundings. Seeing it chilled his blood as he walked by what looked like deceased experiments floating in various sized tubes filled with discolored liquid. The smell was enough to make him hold his breath, especially since the strong smell of stale disinfectant and putrid death assaulted him all at once. In the back of his head, he could see the image of Hojo with some implement in hand as he neared, his glasses flashing. The silver-haired man quickly shook such unpleasant thoughts away when he discovered that there was a whole slew of… _coffins_?

Coffins. Why would there be coffins down here, let alone dozens of them? The closer he got to the coffins, the stronger the scent of death struck him. He suspected there were dead bodies inside of them, but what, and were they human? His curiosity got the better of him, so he randomly opened one and stepped back when the hideous, mangled form of some decaying thing that had once been human, assaulted his eyes and sense of smell. Quickly dropping the lid, he stepped back and made to leave when that same feeling from before urged him on. Like hands pulling a rope tied to him, he felt his legs propelling forward towards a particular coffin that didn’t seem any different than the rest.

A film of dust covered the otherwise sleek looking, dark coffin and like the other coffins, nothing appeared out of the ordinary except for the fact that there was probably a corpse lying inside. Although he felt unnerved, he was no coward and would see this through. After all, he’d come this far already and nothing would or could make him turn tail and run like a frightened rabbit. As he neared the coffin, he clenched and unclenched his gloved hands into tight fists. Despite his training as a Soldier, an enhanced one at that, he still felt unexpectedly anxious; his stomach churning and knotting up as if he were meeting someone important for the first time in his life.

Stopping less than a foot away from the casket, he inhaled deeply as he unclenched his fists. Steeling himself, he used both hands to lift the heavy lid and when it didn’t budge, he blinked in surprise. It was… _locked?_ Narrowing his eyes, he tried again to lift the lid, but still, no luck. Taking a closer look at the coffin, it didn’t appear to be sealed by any substance. Something was most likely barring it closed from the inside, like a latch or something. How could that be? The dead were dead and couldn’t exactly lock or unlock their coffins. Better yet, why would the coffin lock in the first place? It’s not like the dead were merely sleeping and could crawl out of their coffins any time they wanted to.

“What is going on…” Sephiroth murmured to himself, disbelief lacing the tone of his voice as he shook his head. The feeling that what he needed was just _inside_ this coffin suddenly intensified to such an unbearable degree that he actually growled out loud like an enraged beast. His anger and frustration rapidly mounting, he grabbed the lid of the coffin once more as he bent over, his heels digging hard into the ground as he pulled at the lid with as much strength as he could muster. This time, the lid gave way with a loud crack that echoed throughout the chamber as he ripped the lid right off from the coffin. Heaving the lid up, he was about to place it down on the ground when the crimson-clothed figure of a beautiful, pale man caught his gaze. The coffin lid dropped heavily onto the ground next to him, but he didn’t seem to notice it as he continued to stare at what appeared to be a _sleeping_ , raven-haired man with skin so deathly pale, it seemed to glow. Who was this man and why was he locked inside a coffin? Was he even alive? Could he be? He almost certainly appeared as if he were still alive, but if so, why would a living man sleep inside a coffin? Perhaps someone put him here as part of a sick joke…or maybe, maybe he was actually dead. Unlike the other corpse, this one looked fresher, as if he had recently died. The putrid stench of dead seemed to emanate from everywhere except from this pale man. Something in him wanted to reach over and touch that ethereal face framed by unruly, long inky black hair with long dark eyelashes kissing against pale cheeks like a final embrace.

Suddenly feeling foolish for disturbing the dead, Sephiroth sighed, “Forgive me,” and then crouched down to pick up the coffin lid. Once he had straightened back up to his full height with the lid in hand, he dropped it again once he noticed the burning crimson eyes of the pale man staring straight at him. The lid clanked against the ground and he stepped back as the figure in red slowly rose up into a sitting position. Blood drenched eyes widened slightly in surprise as he stared at Sephiroth as if he recognized him somehow. Pale lips parted slightly and a sound gurgled in the man’s throat as if it struggled to escape. The crimson-eyed man slowly reached out, extending his arm towards the Silver General.

Keeping a safe distance between them, Sephiroth tilted his head back slightly. He wasn’t sure if what he was seeing was real or if he was just hallucinating. It wouldn’t be the first time he had seen things that weren’t there. “Who…who are you?”

“I could ask you the same,” croaked the man, his voice hoarse from what sounded like disuse. His arm dropped back down into his lap as he continued to curiously study the silver-haired male.

“I am Sephiroth,” answered the jade-eyed man, not missing the way the crimson-clad figure suddenly stiffened at hearing him introduce himself. Perhaps this man had heard of him in some way since Sephiroth was the poster boy of Shinra, after all. Many knew what he looked like and many more knew his name, since both his name and his appearance were something unique and different.  Even if someone had never seen a picture of him before, they would have surely figured out on their own that he was Shinra’s famed elite General. Known to some as the Demon of Wutai and to others as the Silver General. And only to a select few, he was known simply as Sephiroth.

Despite his shock, the raven-haired male said, “Vincent Valentine…”

“Why are you down here…in a coffin, Mr. Valentine?” Questioned Sephiroth, who stepped a little closer.

Vincent tilted his head to the side slightly as he curiously watched the other man. Another layer of surprise was revealed as he stared unblinkingly at Sephiroth as if said man had asked him something he should already know. “You mean…you don’t know…?”

In the next instant, Sephiroth found himself stumbling back out of his chair and landing flat on his ass with a loud, rather undignified yelp. It took him a moment to realize that he was back in his study, in his home and not in some forsaken mansion with a mysterious pale man. Confused, he slowly rose up to his feet as he glanced around in puzzlement. What…was _that_? Had he been dreaming again? If so, why had it felt so… _real_ , like he had just been there in person, wherever there was. He could even still smell the disinfectant, the stench of death, and even the unique musk of that strange man.

Vincent Valentine, he had said. Who was he and did he even exist? That face had been as clear as day and was still burned into his retinas. It was said that the only faces in dreams were ones people had seen before, but Sephiroth couldn’t remember ever seeing someone like Vincent in all his years alive…


	3. Part III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Our last installment. Hope you all enjoyed and hopefully some of you shed a tear or two.

Before Sephiroth could continue to dwell on the subject, the sound of the front door opening and closing caught his attention, followed by the familiar sound of Angeal calling his name. For now, he pushed his strange thoughts aside to leave the study and meet his lover. Once he spotted the larger male, he visibly relaxed when he noticed Angeal seemed unharmed and relatively all right. Sighing, he ran the fingers of his left hand through his hair as he stared at the taller male. “Everything go all right? How is Genesis? Does he still look…sickly? I’m surprised you didn’t tow him back with you, you fussy man…”

Then noticing his lover's look of concern, he put hand on his shoulder and sat him down and listened to his report. Angeal's report was methodical as he talked, just as he had been taught in their program. It was to the point and spared no details. Sephiroth's hands stroked his lover's board shoulder at the worry in his voice for his childhood friend.

He knew that Genesis was far from perfect; he was a man whore who was brutal when it came to relationships. He thought nothing of inviting two dates to the same events without their knowledge and laugh uproariously at the upset he caused. He was extremely vain and pretentious with a flair for dramatics a mile wide. But he was also extremely loyal to his friends and intelligence lurked behind his lackadaisical playboy ways. He was extremely proud of his abilities and trained hard.  No matter what Genesis was, he did not deserve this.

Sephiroth stood up and went to their guest room and Angeal wondered why he was purposely stripping the bed. "What are you doing?" He asked him.

"I'll be able to put these in the machine before the load is done to join the other bed linen that needed to be washed. Then I'm going to make the bed ready for when we go get Genesis. We never have guests so it has been a while since these sheets were changed," he explained.

"But I thought you didn't much care for Genesis?" Angeal asked.

"Genesis is an insufferable ass but he's _our_ insufferable ass and belongs here with his friends. Now I'm going to make the bed and then we are going to go fetch him. I won't accept no for an answer. I would rather have him here so you can fuss over him, like you do with everyone you care about then have you moping about worrying about him." Sephiroth insisted.

"I could ask Cloud to pick him up in a jeep, he seems like the kind who doesn't mind making deliveries," Angeal suggested, his heart warmed to see Sephiroth doing the right thing and not allowing his jealousy of Genesis get in the way of their friendship.

"No, the fewer people who know about his condition, the better. I'm not at my full strength but can easily carry Genesis to our place if necessary, he weights nothing. I shall need you along most likely to act as a porter for all his luggage he's probably going to insist he needs" Sephiroth said. He continued making the bed while Angeal opened the window to air out the room, not that it smelled musty in the least and then went to check the adjoining bathroom, that was immaculate of course.

"You should stretch to get ready for heavy lifting." Sephiroth advised him as they walked in tandem towards Genesis's apartment.

Genesis was in worse shape than before and could hardly stand.

Sephiroth felt instantly bad when he realized it stemmed from a wound he had given Genesis during a duel.

They quickly packed just what Genesis needed and it was Angeal who carried the weary man wrapped in a blanket to prevent people from identifying who he was while Sephiroth carried his suitcase. Sephiroth realized he didn't mind for once to see Angeal tenderly holding the other man and softly speaking to him.

Sephiroth didn't even mind when Genesis hogged most of Angeal's time, his injury was getting worse and it was as if every aspect of him was turning grey, yet his face remained deceptively youthful and he refused to see anyone. Both Sephiroth and Genesis held his ex-lovers at bay and Angeal went into his room to find his PHS smashed one day.

Sephiroth made swift recovery from his Mako treatment and helped out his worried lover as he spent most of his time in Genesis's room talking of old times and each night Sephiroth would hold him while he slept.

Angeal had just woken up and went to plead with Genesis to get the doctors to examine him, since he kept on refusing, when he overheard Sephiroth and Genesis talking. "I wish I had found someone to love before...this happened. I know you think I'm horrible at relationships, I just...get scared when people start getting too close to me. I'm always afraid they will hate me once they know the real me." Genesis admitted.

"You can change, it's never too late to find love and if that person doesn't love you back when they know you, every aspect of you, they are not worth your time. You are worth loving as much as I am," he explained, lightly patting Genesis's wrists and that made Angeal happy how Sephiroth's self-esteem continued to grow.

Days later, Sephiroth cried alone in his empty house after first Genesis and then Angeal had abandoned him. Genesis who could no longer face what he was becoming. Angeal noticed changes in himself that made him speak of theories of himself being medically altered as Genesis had claimed. Sephiroth tried to debunk this to keep him with him but in the end, Angeal had left him.

He sobbed with abandonment as he held Angeal's shirt to his face in an attempt at self-soothing. He knew that he might never see his lover again and if he did, it would be at his execution. Someone had been sent after both Genesis and Angeal with orders to hunt them down like dogs and that person was him!

Hojo had sat there smirking while Sephiroth was given orders to run Masamune through his own boyfriend's huge, loving heart and he refused. He had to put a stop to it somehow; he understood that Zack had been promoted to SOLDIER 1st Class to go in his stead. But that couldn't happen. He would convince the young man merely to help bring them home, he would get his lover back.

For Genesis, they would find his cure.

For Angeal, he would have their farm and children and Sephiroth would marry him if only to bind Angeal to him so he could never leave him and prove to the world that he was his. They would break free of Shinra and never have to answer to anyone again, all he had to do was find them.

However, until then Sephiroth had to go into Shinra every day for work and act like nothing had changed. He conspired with Zack to keep informed of their whereabouts, knowing if he could find Angeal, he could easily convince him to come home. That whatever was going on with him, they would work on it as a couple and overcome it. 

Sephiroth was surprised when he and Zack were sent to Nibelheim but took the time to research in the library there what Genesis and Angeal had implied. He was there a long time at what he discovered. It was in the Nibelheim library that he started to learn of his dark roots and those of his friend's and lover's and thought he would go mad at the knowledge of what he actually was. 

Angeal wasn't the last one he saw of the two of them; it was Genesis that confirmed what he was and he saw the Mako creatures and then the dark dream he had had begun to come true.

"You are a monster. You were the greatest monster created by the Jenova project." Genesis explained.

"What is the Jenova Project?" Sephiroth asked him, needing it to be confirmed for once and for all.

"The Jenova project was the term used for all experiments relating to all use of Jenova's cells," the enemy that his ex-friend had become sneered.

"My Mother's cells?" Sephiroth asked him.

"Poor little Sephiroth, you've never actually met your mother. You were just told her name, no? I don't know what images you've conjured up in your head but, your mother was a monster. You are a monster," he said and then had the nerve to ask for Sephiroth's cells to restore his body and Sephiroth denied them to him.

It was like he wasn't in his own mind as he faced the badly misshapen female creature that looked only vaguely human in the shape of its face and how it had breasts. The one exposed eye glowed pink and he could plainly see that this is where his hair color came from.

All those years being secretly tortured in a lab and forced to be little more than a label, a thing was too much for him to handle. He wasn't even human, he could feel his strained mind unravelling and he smiled worshipfully at the creature and said, "Mother, let's take back the planet together. I-I had an epiphany."

That had been _ten_ years ago.

Sephiroth had returned from the Lifestream as he had been pre-Jenova. With an unlikely friend's unexpected help, they had managed to convince his rag tag group of "heroes" that Sephiroth was no longer a threat to the Planet or to anyone else, for the matter. The man was another Hojo survivor and like Sephiroth, he had endured agonies most people couldn’t even imagine. He had somehow gotten the charges dismissed against Sephiroth and had taken him under his literal wing and offered him a place in his home until his finances were sorted out.

However, Sephiroth had had two stops to make; one to his former home and his friend had thoughtfully left him as he went into it, surprised that it was still standing. Tears had clouded his eyes to behold the ruins of Angeal's garden. It had been the man's pride and joy and now, now it was nothing more than a wild mess of dried up plants and rat corpses.

Their home seemed so cramped now, yet when he lived there with Angeal, it had seemed just the right size for them.

Anything of value had long since been removed, the walls were covered with graffiti and the old mattresses had been moved to floor and were covered in bodily fluids and other repulsive stains. Empty liquor bottles and used condoms littered the floor Angeal had been so fussy about and this saddened the silver-haired man even more.

Sephiroth walked from room to room and could just make out some vestiges of their shared life together and mourned his former life.

He had come to retrieve the rings from where he had concealed them during happier times spent in the same house. He remembered where he had put them and removed the loose brick from the mantel and easily found the rings he had stashed there years before. He read their inscriptions:

" _Yours forever in honor and bound only by love_ "

And had his first good cry in a long time at how he had never been able to give the matching ring to Angeal. He tucked them into his pocket and left behind forever his once happy home.

His final stop was to Angeal's grave where he was buried beside his parents in Banora. Sephiroth's friend went with him, but thoughtfully decided to explore the village and left him in a wave of crimson.

Sephiroth knelt before the grey headstone, there was nothing carved on it but Angeal's name and date of birth and death. There were no additional inscriptions or quotes added to personalize it. Nor was there any flowers or trinkets left to mourn the dead man and this saddened Sephiroth that someone so giving in life had been forgotten.

He pressed his cheek to the headstone like it was Angeal's own warm flesh and hugged the stone itself, but it gave him no comfort back. He leaned back to read it again, as if the script had been transformed to include, 'beloved husband or ‘beloved father' but there had never been a husband for the wonderful man nor children. Angeal had died with Zack looking on, at the hands of his own creation he infused with his own cells to end his miserable existence. Now only Sephiroth himself was left to mourn him, everyone else had forgotten about Angeal and how brave and noble he had been in life.

"I should have brought flowers, but can't touch them after you died. It seems wrong that I'm here to witness beautiful things and you're not. Shinra is over, they did collapse and their human experimentation was their downfall. As you can see, I stopped wearing my uniform long ago. I'm no longer under their control. Things are different now. I wish you could see how the world is now. I've changed, I was.... _mad_ for a long time but I no longer am. I have a life to rebuild from scratch, I have someone helping me though, he's kind......well, kinder than he seems. He doesn't talk much, but I don't talk much either. I did bring something for you, it was meant to be a surprise. It's a wedding ring, I wear the matching one around my neck on a chain…it doesn't seem right to wear it on my finger because you never got to put it..." He said and covered his eyes and then dashed the tears away. He took a deep, shaky breath.

"I miss you every day. I l-love you. I wish I had told you that. I would have m-married you and lived with you on that blasted farm..." he said and then started sobbing and cried out, “I love you. Why did you have to die? You were so wonderful, you loved me, you took care of me, you made love to me. I think about you every day. You should have lived; you should have had children. I would have given them to you if I could from my own damned body if I had had to! Angeal, I don't want to go on without you. I need you, there is no place in this world for me. Why can't I just join you in the Lifestream? Why am I here when you're not? You were so much better than me. The stuff I've done. I just want to…" He said and then hung his head and wept uncontrollably as he placed the matching ring on Angeal's headstone.

Suddenly, he felt something brush his cheek and his lover's voice said "I'll never be gone as long as you live. Live, be happy and keep our love alive," and it felt like soft lips were pressed against his own as if saying goodbye and a feeling of pure love surrounded him as if to protect him from any other negative in his life and he clung to it as long as he could. Angeal, he realized, it was _Angeal_.

Vincent walked up to where Sephiroth seemed to be standing before his dead lover's grave with his eyes closed. His face looked so peaceful in a way Vincent had never seen it. He could tell he had been crying and longed to go to him, but gave him space to compose himself. Sephiroth opened his still damp eyes and looked at him.

"Are you okay?" Vincent asked him.

Knowing quite a bit about Vincent’s own past now, especially about how the ex-Turk had deeply loved his real mother, he knew Vincent understood him in his own way. Though the shorter man’s love had been mostly unrequited, he had loved and lost Lucrecia nonetheless. It was such a sad, tragic truth that made Sephiroth feel immensely grateful that Angeal had loved him the way he had loved him. To think that Angeal might have felt rejected like Vincent had at some point, was enough for guilt to rear its ugly head. He regretted not saying the words to Angeal, the words he hoped his actions showed. Most of all, he regretted not telling Angeal that he would marry him, would shoot for his dream, _their_ dream. He wondered if maybe the man had somehow known what his answer would be. Knowing Angeal, he felt his lover has known somehow.

If only Angeal hadn’t died _alone_ …if only Sephiroth had had the chance to say goodbye to him. Clutching the ring at his neck, it was then that he realized he hadn’t known how much he had wanted Angeal’s dream for them to come true until…it couldn’t. Or how much he still wanted that dream, or at the very least, some version of it. Now the dream was dead and there was no getting away from that.

Instead of answering Vincent’s initial query, Sephiroth deflected with a question of his own, his voice cracking slightly. “Does…it ever get better?”

Vincent focused his searing gaze on the tombstone, eyes slowly roving over the name and date. Like Sephiroth, he noted that there was no personal inscription there and filed that information away for _later_ use. Directing his stare back to Sephiroth, his chest clenched painfully at the sight of his friend, Lucrecia’s beautiful son, in so much pain. The young man had been through so much agony and despair that Vincent would take it all away, would that he could. Since he couldn’t change the past for either of them, he would have to settle for being there for him in any way that he possibly could. Though he wasn’t prone to talking to others about his personal thoughts or feelings, he’d always make an exception for Sephiroth.  He’d failed him in the past just as he’d failed her. The raven-haired man was determined not to make that same mistake ever again. “It took some time, but for me, it got better. I will always love her, and miss her…but I’ve accepted that she is gone…and I have my own life to live…”

“And what if I don’t want to live?” Spat out the darker part of himself before he could stop himself. After the words had tumbled carelessly out of his own mouth, he instantly regretted it when he noticed the way the ex-Turk stiffened next to him. He averted his bright eyes to the ground, glaring angrily at it as if he could burn holes through it, through himself.

“He wouldn’t want that for you. No one can make you do anything, feel anything…but…that is for you to decide,” spoke Vincent so quietly that even with his enhanced hearing, Sephiroth had to strain just to catch the words. There was something unsaid there, something the ex-Turk wasn’t saying with words.

Sephiroth said nothing as he stood there staring at his lover’s grave. Vincent was right, of course, and he wouldn’t dare deny the truth of it. He felt his hands trembling at his sides and hoped his friend didn’t notice his weakness. Many had witnessed him in his time of weakness as a murderous madman, Vincent included, but for some reason, he specifically didn’t want the gunman to see his flaws. Why, he wasn’t entirely sure. Perhaps it was because Vincent was the only person left in this pitiless world that actually cared about him and he didn’t want to lose him, too. Like a starving man, he clung to Vincent, clung to a comfort that he probably didn’t deserve.

The ex-General started when he felt a hand slip into his own bare hand. Although some believed he closely resembled a vampire, assumed his flesh would be cold to the touch, Vincent’s hand was surprisingly very warm. Somehow without Sephiroth noticing, he had slipped his glove off before touching him. It was a simple, comforting touch any friend or family member would give, yet to Sephiroth, it was like being touched by a fire that couldn’t burn him. The hand in his was loose, as if giving the taller man the opportunity to remove his own from it should he not want the contact. Swallowing down a choked sob, he tightened his hand, squeezing Vincent’s hand against his own. Throat feeling tight, he squeezed even harder and almost smiled when he felt the other man squeeze back. The strong desire to be held again like Angeal had once held him, encompassed Sephiroth, but he pushed it back, shoved it away in a darkened corner. He wasn’t ready for that just yet, though a part of himself couldn’t deny the electricity in the touch, or the embers burning in the pit of his stomach whenever crimson eyes looked at him.

“Let’s go home,” murmured Sephiroth before he slowly turned away from Angeal’s grave. He kept his hold on Vincent’s hand as if that were his lifeline, as if that alone was keeping him rooted in this world. Glancing over his shoulder, he took one last meaningful, parting look at his lover’s grave. Whether he was still a bit touched in the head, or maybe it was the trick of the light, but he swore he saw Angeal standing there, smiling at him. He picked up the wedding ring and put it on his ring finger and gave Sephiroth such a look of radiant joy and pure love. Smiling back with watery eyes, Sephiroth said, “Farewell, Angeal. I…love you. Even though you’re gone, no, you’re away…I will never stop saying it. _I love you_." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, the sequel, "Home", should be out soon enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! <3


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